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I was speaking with my grandmother when her son(my uncle) started yelling and cursing in the background(my grandmother and I were discussing my children). My grandmother apologized and quickly hung up the phone. Her son has lived with her rent-free for 2 years and is unemployed. I was then unable to contact her for two days and contacted APS to do a welfare check(Although he made no threats, he was extremely vulgar and vicious). Their report did not find any abuse that they were able to tell me about. That was a week or two ago and I am still unable to reach her by phone(she had always picked up or called back before). I went over to check on her myself with my spouse and 2 children, but he was cursed and screamed and told us we were trespassing. My grandma could be seen across the house on the couch, and when I asked "are you ok?" She nodded despite being in tears. A week or so later, the son picked up the phone when I tried to call and told me that if I keep trying, he will file a harassment charge. I care deeply about my grandmother's well being and her relationships with my mother and my children, but do not want to be in trouble with the law because I am harassing the son by calling. How do contact my grandma and continue a relationship without harassing the live-in-son?

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Very often a durable POA is registered with the county register of deeds and thus is available for public viewing. Does your grandmother have an atty. If so, they might know if someone has POA for your grandmother. Your uncle sounds like a very sick man. I hope for your grandmother's sake that you are able to resolve this unhealthy situation.
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I'll say a prayer for you, concerned family!!!
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@littletonway, Although I knew he lived with my grandma, Every time I would visit he was out. The screaming in the background while I was talking to my grandma was the first contact I have had in almost a decade. I did not know him well, but he seemed normal enough back then. Now I am worried stuff like this has been happening for a long time.
@MishkaM, I have been trying to get her alone somehow to talk to her. I do not believe my uncle has POA, but I am not sure how I would find that out. My grandma has been letting him live with her for a while now(and has a few times in the past), so she may want to protect him. I am going to be contacting the Police and APS in the morning to see what my limitations are for contact. I just hope I don't have to have a cop follow me over there, that would be hard on my grandma. :(
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I have no real solution but wanted to ask...has uncle always been this way; does he treat you Mom and other relatives in the same manner?

There must be some reason he is keeping her what I consider hostage and not allowing phone calls or visitors. Sounds very unhealthy to me. I would call your local senior services agency and explain the situation to them. Perhaps they will have suggestions or lead you to people that could help. There just has to be something you can do!

Best wishes and good luck!
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This sounds,kinda scary. I would be worried as you are. Is the home your Grandmother's. Seems to me that you cannot be charged with trespassing if your grandmother owns the property and says it is ok. Unless your Uncle has POA. Still, I would contact the police and tell them your fears. And catalog everything you do and say and everything you see and hear. If your uncle leaves you threatening messages keep them. If you can get you Grandmother to say she does not want to be left alone with him get it recorded if possible .Your Mom has a right to see her Mom. I would contact a lawyer for a consultation as well. I do not know how much of the legal stuff works -sorry-but others can tell you which agencies are best to reach out to. Good luck. Blessings to you all!!!
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