Constantly changing dementia is driving me a bit crazy. Just a rant at how weird it is! Are bizarre hourly differences the new normal?

There will be new normals but they don't necessarily last. Everyone experiences dementia a little differently. You may want to check him for a UTI, as it can definitely and "suddenly" create behavioral changes and it is easy to diagnose and discount.

I think your best strategy is to have no expectations of how it's going to go. I just got back from visiting my 99-yr old aunt with dementia. My cousin (her caregiver) told me the very day I arrived, she started the behavior of screaming "HELP!" really loud and often. On a trip to the bank to take care of some PoA paperwork, someone called the police because she was in the car yelling for help.

I recommend you watch some Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She explains a lot about dementia, what it is, how it is manifested in people who suffer from it and how to engage better with our LOs. May you gain peace in your heart on this journey.

This seems pretty normal for dementia. There is no rhyme or reason to it. The brain is complicated and a broken brain is totally unpredictable. I guess you just have to accept this roller coaster that his life has become.

Glad that he is on his way to memory care.

There is no new normal with dementia. Every day ( and hour) is different, and as you say, constantly changing. That's good that he's going to MC both for him and for you, but why is he on hospice? Does he have some other end of life issues? Your description of him doesn't seem like he's hospice qualified.

Although he's going into MC, remember you are still his advocate. You are still caring for him. Even when you visit, you'll witness changes in behavior and not know what to expect. Anticipating a visit with my wife in MC made me quite anxious - I never knew what to expect. Is she having a good day or bad day? Will I find her crawling on the floor or sleeping in someone else's room? Despite how it may sound, her care was excellent. Most of the time the staff took the position that if her behavior wasn't dangerous or disruptive, they wouldn't interfere. So don't be alarmed at your dad's behavior when you visit, as long as you feel he's getting proper care. It's just the nature of the beast called dementia.

You may want to read “When Someone You Know is Living in a Care Community” by Rachael Wonderlin.

I would second the previous answer that recommended watching Teepa Snow. I learned more about dementia from watching a few of her videos than from all of the books I read combined.

Agreed that every dementia case is different.

Agreed that it could be UTI.

I think that the hallucinations can be treated with medications. My husband hallucinated too before he was put on Seroquel. (There are many other similar drugs out there, but this one works for him.) If you have not done so already, talk to his neurologist who can prescribe a medication for him. As in all meds, it will take some time to kick in. Don’t expect overnight miracles.

Good luck.

Actually the new normal can be either one. I think if you notice that he is more lucid and himself in the mornings. And then an hour later he is not lucid and as the day goes he gets wierded. I saw this in my own father and other family member. The brain is rested and more himself. In the mornings but after a few hours his brain gets tired and he isn't longer himself. Enjoy the mornings for soon they will be gone.a nap may help but he probably will refuse a nap. Again enjoy the mornings.

This man is obviously developing dementia - big time - and it will get worse. Decide if you want to put up with this, get a caretaker, or place him. I think it is the on/off dementia (that is how it starts) is hitting him.

I see this all the time in my Charge. The tricky part is knowing how and when to just roll with it or gently correct. This is in regards to misnaming things. Example, where are my green pant? Im looking all over for green pants and she tells me the ones she wore yesterday. Oh, her blue jeans. As far as the naked thing goes; again a balancing act. If and when they realize these odd behaviors sometimes they verbally rebuke us because they are embarrassed. That’s been my experience. Honestly I just think “toddler”. Acknowledge the emotion then move to correct the problem. Example would sound something like. I see you’re frustrated. I can help you.... This gentle statement works for my gal and I use it a lot. Good luck and God Bless you!

Get used to it!

My dad had vascular dementia. He had good days and bad days. Some days he’d have delusions. Other days he’d seem more normal. He had one time where one side of his face went slack and he drooled and couldn’t talk normally for a few days which must have been a mini stroke. I was told that kind of thing was common for vascular dementia because of what might be going on in his brain where another part could be blocked or bleeding as the disease advanced.