Considering moving to help care for my parents. Any advice?

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My parents are divorced, and both at a point where they need some limited help. My Mom is 83, lives with my brother and family in the winter and in her own house in the summer in a different state. It's becoming clear she won't be able to live alone much longer even for a few months at a time. My father is 85 and lives alone in his own home. They both lost their spouses last year within 5 months of each other so they are both alone for the first time. My siblings (3) and I all live in different states, none of us in the state where my father lives full time and my mom lives part time. The hardest parts are that we weren't prepared for both of them to need so much help at the same time, 3 of us did our best by splitting up traveling and finances to make it work for the last year but as time goes on they will both need more. My Mom is very close to my brother's kids but my father is not which is why she is staying with them. That seems to be working for now but as his kids need more...sports, schedules etc and my mom needs more I am not sure how it will work. My father was never really that involved with us until the last year when his wife was sick and he needed help, so we have offered options as in assisted living or and apartment near my sister who said she would help with that and he doesn't want to. I live in a climate which neither of them could handle so I try to help by going and doing what I can every couple months. My other sibling is pretty non existent in the helping part of everything. I feel guilty because my Dad is alone, and none of us are willing or able to move to be with him mainly because of where he lives - small town, depressed, no jobs, hard to get to. He has actually said he hates it there but he doesn't want to start over at his age and who can blame him but it will make things a lot more difficult in the future. I also feel guilty because my Mom is alone for several months out of the year, we are very close to our Mom. I really want to just pick up and be with her for the next few years, split time between my brother's town and her summer house, the house we grew up in. The only thing stopping me is my relationship, I just don't know how to do this. I love my SO, but we live 1800 miles away. He can't move because he has a child but I don't want to stay because I want to help with my parents as much as I can. I am so torn. Any advice? Thanks!!!

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Thank you both for the input!! I do appreciate it!
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Well, moving here is not an option, I live at 9000 ft elevation...they both have breathing issues so they could never handle the low oxygen levels plus it snows 9 months out of the year here, I'd be afraid they would break a hip or something. My father went to stay with my sister and check out her area - also Illinois, but he decided he didn't want to move once my sister told him he'd have to get an apartment by himself. The moving part doesn't bother me at all...I'd welcome that actually, just not the breaking up of the relationship part. My job can travel with, and I have friends already in that town so all of that is easy. If the SO wasn't in the picture I would have moved last year no hesitation. I also don't think it is fair that one sibling bear the whole of the care taking for one or both. I think it should be a combined effort. My Mom just got out of the hospital for a heart issue so I am probably a little more emotional about it all also, combined with jet lag lol
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I wouldn't give up a significant other to move nearer parents. You'll give up your job, your friends, and your love. Let your parents make the sacrifice of moving at this point not you. You take one parent (maybe your dad) and get him near you. Let another sibling take responsibility for the other parent. Trying to caregive from long distance is a bear - I did it with my folks for two or three years, until I said the stress would kill me. And they were only 200 miles away. So they bit the bullet and left their home of 35 years to move to an independent living facility near me. And we're in IL, so the weather is really cold here right now - minus 11 this morning. My mom established friends in her new "home" and they were happy there. My dad died in 2009 and my mom is still living 1.5 miles away - almost 13 years later. And with the help she needs from me, it is still an incredible amount of work. If I had given up my whole life to move to them, I'd be ready for the loony bin now. Or dead with bitterness and anger.
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Well my mother actually did say she would like it if I moved home with her. My father has said more than once that he wishes one of us would move to where he lives also. Which is what makes me feel so torn, I know they would love it. I lived with my Mom for a couple years before moving for work and we got along fine. Honestly I hate where I live now but I do love my SO so I am trying to work it all out. Thank you for the input!!
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I wouldn't worry about either one of them, but a weekly phone call goes a long way to cheer them up. Keep your job and your relationship in good condition. Help your parents from a distance. Your mother lives alone in summer by choice, your father is independent by choice. If you move, you may be underfoot too much and that would be uncomfortable all the way around.
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