My parents are divorced, and both at a point where they need some limited help. My Mom is 83, lives with my brother and family in the winter and in her own house in the summer in a different state. It's becoming clear she won't be able to live alone much longer even for a few months at a time. My father is 85 and lives alone in his own home. They both lost their spouses last year within 5 months of each other so they are both alone for the first time. My siblings (3) and I all live in different states, none of us in the state where my father lives full time and my mom lives part time. The hardest parts are that we weren't prepared for both of them to need so much help at the same time, 3 of us did our best by splitting up traveling and finances to make it work for the last year but as time goes on they will both need more. My Mom is very close to my brother's kids but my father is not which is why she is staying with them. That seems to be working for now but as his kids need more...sports, schedules etc and my mom needs more I am not sure how it will work. My father was never really that involved with us until the last year when his wife was sick and he needed help, so we have offered options as in assisted living or and apartment near my sister who said she would help with that and he doesn't want to. I live in a climate which neither of them could handle so I try to help by going and doing what I can every couple months. My other sibling is pretty non existent in the helping part of everything. I feel guilty because my Dad is alone, and none of us are willing or able to move to be with him mainly because of where he lives - small town, depressed, no jobs, hard to get to. He has actually said he hates it there but he doesn't want to start over at his age and who can blame him but it will make things a lot more difficult in the future. I also feel guilty because my Mom is alone for several months out of the year, we are very close to our Mom. I really want to just pick up and be with her for the next few years, split time between my brother's town and her summer house, the house we grew up in. The only thing stopping me is my relationship, I just don't know how to do this. I love my SO, but we live 1800 miles away. He can't move because he has a child but I don't want to stay because I want to help with my parents as much as I can. I am so torn. Any advice? Thanks!!!