Mom is 84, very frail, with dementia. Dad placed her in AL facility 1 yr ago. At first it seemed ok. She is increasingly refusing to comply, won't walk to dining rm, won't eat from tray in her room, won't shower or wear depends, is incontinent. Still recognizes me and my spouse. Dad refuses to worry about this situation, which is neglectful, isolating and she smells and sits on a urine soaked chair. I'm retired health care provider, strong enough to deal with her and she responds well to me. Can have home care several afternoons weekly for personal respite. I feel her care level woul improve from around 1-2 to 8-9 with this change. She is very low energy and sleeps until noon or 1 pm. Am I crazy to consider this? My conscience won't let me leave her where she is. I am the oldest sibling, have DPOA and can be a much better advocate. Thanks in advance.