After so many bad experiences with nursing homes, I am considering bringing my Dad home. What assistance is available?

What are the bad experiences you're having with his current placement? There is certainly no place like home, but moving him is going to be quite disorienting.

As an example, when she was in IL, my mom took her meds something like 6 times a day. In nh, she's on a three time a day schedule that works fine.

Mom has long-standing congestive heart failure. Keeping her fluids balanced is a chore. She also has a pacemaker and kidney damage from the diuretics she's taken for ten years. She has moderate dementia. I care for her at home. She's been with me about a year. It's much easier, actually, to have her here than it is at a nursing home. I know because she spent 2-1/2 months in rehab, having broken her hip last March.

It's much easier to keep her balanced with her diuretics at home, Care111. I control her salt intake, what she eats and drinks. I notice when her ankles begin swelling, when she starts to wheeze, etc., and can adjust her diuretics to manage her symptoms.

Right now, I have a personal assistant who comes in once a week to bath her: $30 a week. The podiatrist comes to the house to do her toenails. Medicare. Her doctor comes to the house once a month and is available on his cellphone for med changes and prescriptions. Medicare. I use Comfort Keepers when we go out -- $22/hour. Their people out of this particular office are wonderful.

I have an electric hospital bed with rails paid for by Medicare. An oxygen generator paid for by Medicare and her supplement. A transport chair (waiting for a regular wheelchair...doctor will okay it his next visit.)

She gets a $1,000 stipend from the county to help with sitters. It sure comes in handy.

I send her to Adult Day Care once a week. I call it "The Senior Center" for mom's benefit. That costs $63 a week. Gives me a full day to do whatever. It's open from 7:30 AM 'til 5 PM.

Mom saved all her life for a rainy day. As I've said on here many times? It's pouring outside. So I spend it to make her life better.

The other thing I will mention is the great satisfaction I get from being her care giver. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get frustrated, but the benefits? You can't even imagine.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you.

Oh, re the bathroom. I had railings put all OVER the bathroom so she could take a shower. She'll have none of it. She's afraid she'll fall. (It's a walk-in shower.) She can only walk with a walker, a gait belt and me. When the PA comes to bath her, she does it in front of the kitchen sink. Very efficient. Mom loves it.

If medicare is involved you should be able to get Hospice involved but they will want to see where he will be going and make sure it is handicapped fitted for everyone's safety. The first thing to do is talk to your Dad's Dr about your concerns and he/she should be able to recommend a Hospice group. It is very hard work being a caregiver but there are people and places that will help. His Dr. should have the info you need for at home care.

The in home care for my Dad has been physical therapy, home health aides and visiting nurses also meals on wheels. My two siblings and I help and although Mom is elderly she is still capable of keeping house and helping Dad. Even still, it is taxing on us all. If I lived alone without help and suffered from health issues I do not think I would take in a parent with dementia and serious physical problems unless there was no alternative. I wish you the best.

Having once owned an in-home care business, all I can say is that many, many families hired us to care for loved ones who were in facilities! That just shows that so many facilities, all types, just cannot/don't provide the care needed.

It sounds like Maggie has got it together. And good news for me: Comfort Keepers is the business I once owned, but not the one she's using. All in-home care companies are individually owned, so one may be good, while the next one may not be. You need to be very thorough in interviewing them, if that's one of the paths you choose.

Combine that with home therapy, home health, and whatever else you can find, and you can probably swing it.

Good luck.

Sharon

care111, just remember it has to be a win-win situation for both you and your Dad.

Will you be able to keep up with the demand of his physical caring? I know cancer can knock the wind out of you and tire you out rather quickly even in remission. Are you retired or are you still working? Working gives me sanity so I know I would be lost if I had to give that up.

As the baby boomers start aging, and with a future shortage of continuing care facilities, one might find there will be a waiting list if you decide that this is far more work than you had ever imagined, especially with your own health issues.

You need to balance out the pro and cons of having your Dad living with you vs being in a nursing home. There are some really great continuing care facilities out there, keep searching to keep that as an option.