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My husband has ALZ and I am his sole caregiver. We get eleven hours a week of help from the VA. Our helper is wonderful with him and helps me a great deal. But she has a full time job which often requires her to work at times she is supposed to be with us. I'm not upset about that, but it makes it difficult for me. My husband constantly wants to go somewhere and reacts like a child when I can't take him places. He's pretty self centered and doesn't care how tired/sick I am. This has been going on for over four years and I have just about reached the point where I want to run away. I love him and don't want him to be unhappy. I know he would be heartbroken if I put him in a facility. I've considered hiring a second person just to entertain him a couple days a week. Any suggestions? Thank you.

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If keeping him entertained is the only symptom that is wearing you out, then, I'd try to get help with that, such as a Senior Day Center, if he'll go and stay. But, I agree that you should get the 11 hours that the VA provides as well. If she's not available, they need to send a replacement. Is she getting paid for 11 hours and not showing up for you, but, another one of her jobs? I hope that's not the case. It doesn't sound right.
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Are you saying that the VA is paying for help you aren't receiving? If so, start there. If the caretaker you have can't be there get another. This isn't fair to you or your husband. I'm sorry you have such a heavy burden. Yes. I think you should get extra help but also see to it that you get the help the VA is paying for. I hope you get rest soon.
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Adult day care is a great idea, but many clients will not cooperate with it. It is time for you to start shopping facilities. A sick and tired caregiver needs respite. Start by figuring out how to get some time to do what you want each and every day. Seems VA would have alternates for when the regular caregiver cannot be there.
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I've read great things about adult daycare, it would give him somewhere to go and a social outlet and allow you to get things done without him, or just rest!
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