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Myrt, can still function but her mental state is losing ground quite rapidly, The family has control of her home finances, and we have taken her car away. Living in the house with her are 2 of my wifes younger brothers. Gary (51), the older of the two manages the care for his mom(85) and his younger brother Keith(47). However Keith is retarded but functional and can do simple things on his own but would never be able to live on his own. Years ago , Myrt had a trust drawn up that made Keith the bennif. of the house so that he would always have the home to live in. Keith is the recipient of Gov assit programs and daily workshops. However if he receives the house, those programs end and will have to fend for himself and without income, would (against Myrt's wishes) have to sell the house, pay the taxes and try and live on that for the next 40+ years in a group home ($$$$$).We had a new family trust created and at the point of having Myrt sign it, but she was not having a good day and the attorney when asking Myrt questions to see if she understood what was happening, She just shut down, and at that point the attorney ended the new trust and we are now left with the old one. Anytime we try and discuse this with her we get the "I dont care" and "dont want to deal with it" responce from her. My wife and myself have no problems with the final living araingsments with the 2 brothers remaining in the house and the older brother has no problems with my wife having control of the estate- But how does my wife get control and change to the new trust before it becomes too late.

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I am surprised the attorney did not say "You need to pursue Guardianship" because once they are incompetent, that is the only way you can do anything. You file a petition in surrogate's court for Guardian of the person and the estate.
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There is a particular type of trust your family should look into. It's called a "special needs trust" and allows a disabled son/daughter to inherit the house, and be medicare/mediaid recovery exempt, AND will allow the disabled son/daughter to continue to receive SSI disability, educational equipment, and other services. Your state may have special laws surrounding this issue but this is a good place to start. A good elder law specialist attorney is an absolute must.

As for how your wife gets control of the situation, I have less advice as I have not been in that situation. If myrt is still competent to make her own decisions this will be very difficult. I hope others will have more advice for this question.

Angel
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Problem is that she is not totaly incompetent, and she can be represented in court. Trying to avoid a big legal hassle, and just want the best for both bros when the time comes. As per earlier suggestion, I found an attorney that specializes in elder law (thanx for the suggestion)and we have an appointment to look at her paperwork and maybe able to add a special needs amendment that my wife can sign since she has POA over her business affairs
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I'm thinking that signing an entirely new trust might have been too much for "Myrt". There might be a "work-around" by creating an amended and restated trust, clarifying and/or changing the bequest to the older brother, with the proviso that it's a caregiving arrangement for the younger brother.

There's also a possibility of providing that the older brother be named jointly as the deed holder, 50/50, which would split the younger brother's financial interest, although I don't know the exact specifics of what qualifies him for the special needs assistance he's getting. Maybe even a 75/25 split might work.

Another possibility is to create a subtrust for the younger brother by providing for some funds, or creating provisions whereby the younger brother stays in the house but not as an owner.

I'm just throwing these ideas out - an attorney who's skilled in special needs trusts might have better ideas.

The other issue is as you suggest, that your wife execute either a special needs amendment or a new trust, or a subtrust (if it's possible and legally recommended to blend that into an existing trust), if the POA creates that broad authority.

I'm sure there's a way this can be done, but I suspect the attorney who declined to go ahead when Myrt "shut down" misinterpreted or felt that Myrt wasn't qualified to continue, when it could simply be that she was just overwhelmed.

And you'll need an attorney who not only specializes in elder law, but also in special needs trusts.
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Thanx, Right now just trying to get Keith in a better posistion for when Myrt passes. Any talk about an attorney with her will cause issues. After spending a lot of time and money with the attempt at fixing the old trust,Myrt refuses to coperate. "That lady was mean and was yelling at me" was her answer. Myrt is almost deaf and refuses to wear hearing aids and the only way to comunicate is by yelling so its at a level where she can hear. This has to be done without her involevment
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We took her down and had her hearing tested and bought her a real nice set of HA. She went back the next day and returned them because they were too expensive. The old ones she had , would not wear them because the batterys cost too much. She would rather sit in silence. Please someone shoot me if I ever get this way
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understand, but in her case, is it because of the 2 sons?
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People have you not heard of hearing aids that are RECHARGEABLE? They do not require batteries. I have a pair and they are called Zounds made in AZ. They have been a Godsend and if you cannot afford them, then take out the CareCredit no interest for 12 - 18 months card (credit card for medical, vet bills) and then you will be able to hear! I love mine.
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sorry I do not understand your last question
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About the rechargable HA, She returned the new ones not because she could not afford them (she can) she did not want to spend that much money. Its hard to take her out to dinner at a nice place (Im buying) because she complains about the menu prices, She would rather eat off the dollar menu at McD,s then spend $12 for a nice dinner someplace
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