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Myrt, can still function but her mental state is losing ground quite rapidly, The family has control of her home finances, and we have taken her car away. Living in the house with her are 2 of my wifes younger brothers. Gary (51), the older of the two manages the care for his mom(85) and his younger brother Keith(47). However Keith is retarded but functional and can do simple things on his own but would never be able to live on his own. Years ago , Myrt had a trust drawn up that made Keith the bennif. of the house so that he would always have the home to live in. Keith is the recipient of Gov assit programs and daily workshops. However if he receives the house, those programs end and will have to fend for himself and without income, would (against Myrt's wishes) have to sell the house, pay the taxes and try and live on that for the next 40+ years in a group home ($$$$$).We had a new family trust created and at the point of having Myrt sign it, but she was not having a good day and the attorney when asking Myrt questions to see if she understood what was happening, She just shut down, and at that point the attorney ended the new trust and we are now left with the old one. Anytime we try and discuse this with her we get the "I dont care" and "dont want to deal with it" responce from her. My wife and myself have no problems with the final living araingsments with the 2 brothers remaining in the house and the older brother has no problems with my wife having control of the estate- But how does my wife get control and change to the new trust before it becomes too late.

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I have to agree on you seeing an elder care attorney. We tried to discuss the family trust with my MIL and she is so paranoid now (but was always private). She only gave a copy of the trust to my BIL. When we finally needed it and finally let us see it, the trust was a mess (her dead husband has POA over her). She changed the trustees - but her favorite son wants nothing to do with it so my husband has stepped in.

The frustrating thing during all of this is that I work in the legal field. I've told him and his ex-wife that if you had just let us see it 15 years ago, we could have fixed it while she was in her right mind, but you hid it.

So we went in to see an elder care attorney to get the trust fixed and found a nightmare. No survivors trust done when her ex died (he has 3 children and she hid all the assets from them); then the Alzheimer's kicked in (she refuses to take meds for it) and now we're all in for a conservatorship action.

The saving grace thru all of it has been the law firm we hired - when we lose it, they are calm and explain fully what to expect. I can't imagine trying to navigate any of this without them.
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yes, a disabled person can own a home and one car that are exempt from Assets for Medicaid purposes
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he can actually own it? not just live in it?
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In most states Keith can own a home and it is an exempt asset by Medicaid law
Primary residence is exempt.
However he and his brother will need to generate enough income to pay the property tax, utilities and insurance.
Explore the options with a qualified attorney.
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my parents were like that and makes sense, but I hadn't heard of rechargeable hearing aids
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Then Bruce121, take her to the dollar menu at McD's. Not everyone who was born in the 20's likes to spend money because they suffered from the Great Depression. I don't particularly like spending a lot of money going out to eat because I think good food can be cooked at home without the possibility of me getting e. coli or any other food borne illness from people who don't wash their hands properly, especially after going to the bathroom (research does show that fact). So, enjoy her company where SHE wants to go. However, people who don't use their hearing aids (when they have them) really do a disservice to others because they cannot hear what is going on, and expect others to interpret for them. I refuse to talk to my husband until he has his in his ears because all I do is end up repeating or yelling sentences. So good luck with her and tell her how her stubbornness is affecting you and others.
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About the rechargable HA, She returned the new ones not because she could not afford them (she can) she did not want to spend that much money. Its hard to take her out to dinner at a nice place (Im buying) because she complains about the menu prices, She would rather eat off the dollar menu at McD,s then spend $12 for a nice dinner someplace
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sorry I do not understand your last question
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People have you not heard of hearing aids that are RECHARGEABLE? They do not require batteries. I have a pair and they are called Zounds made in AZ. They have been a Godsend and if you cannot afford them, then take out the CareCredit no interest for 12 - 18 months card (credit card for medical, vet bills) and then you will be able to hear! I love mine.
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understand, but in her case, is it because of the 2 sons?
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We took her down and had her hearing tested and bought her a real nice set of HA. She went back the next day and returned them because they were too expensive. The old ones she had , would not wear them because the batterys cost too much. She would rather sit in silence. Please someone shoot me if I ever get this way
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why do these people refuse hearing aids and here I am wishing I could go ahead and pre-buy mine....
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oh please keep us posted. I have a similar situation in NJ.
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Thanx, Right now just trying to get Keith in a better posistion for when Myrt passes. Any talk about an attorney with her will cause issues. After spending a lot of time and money with the attempt at fixing the old trust,Myrt refuses to coperate. "That lady was mean and was yelling at me" was her answer. Myrt is almost deaf and refuses to wear hearing aids and the only way to comunicate is by yelling so its at a level where she can hear. This has to be done without her involevment
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First of all, Keith should be receiving social security disability benefits. I know it is not much, but it is something. Secondly, you need to try again to discuss what changes your mother-in-law needs to make. Let her know you are trying to help, do not get angry at her (it is her money and house), and at least try to get her to sign your wife as POA & MPOA. That should at least help some.
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I'm thinking that signing an entirely new trust might have been too much for "Myrt". There might be a "work-around" by creating an amended and restated trust, clarifying and/or changing the bequest to the older brother, with the proviso that it's a caregiving arrangement for the younger brother.

There's also a possibility of providing that the older brother be named jointly as the deed holder, 50/50, which would split the younger brother's financial interest, although I don't know the exact specifics of what qualifies him for the special needs assistance he's getting. Maybe even a 75/25 split might work.

Another possibility is to create a subtrust for the younger brother by providing for some funds, or creating provisions whereby the younger brother stays in the house but not as an owner.

I'm just throwing these ideas out - an attorney who's skilled in special needs trusts might have better ideas.

The other issue is as you suggest, that your wife execute either a special needs amendment or a new trust, or a subtrust (if it's possible and legally recommended to blend that into an existing trust), if the POA creates that broad authority.

I'm sure there's a way this can be done, but I suspect the attorney who declined to go ahead when Myrt "shut down" misinterpreted or felt that Myrt wasn't qualified to continue, when it could simply be that she was just overwhelmed.

And you'll need an attorney who not only specializes in elder law, but also in special needs trusts.
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Problem is that she is not totaly incompetent, and she can be represented in court. Trying to avoid a big legal hassle, and just want the best for both bros when the time comes. As per earlier suggestion, I found an attorney that specializes in elder law (thanx for the suggestion)and we have an appointment to look at her paperwork and maybe able to add a special needs amendment that my wife can sign since she has POA over her business affairs
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I am surprised the attorney did not say "You need to pursue Guardianship" because once they are incompetent, that is the only way you can do anything. You file a petition in surrogate's court for Guardian of the person and the estate.
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There is a particular type of trust your family should look into. It's called a "special needs trust" and allows a disabled son/daughter to inherit the house, and be medicare/mediaid recovery exempt, AND will allow the disabled son/daughter to continue to receive SSI disability, educational equipment, and other services. Your state may have special laws surrounding this issue but this is a good place to start. A good elder law specialist attorney is an absolute must.

As for how your wife gets control of the situation, I have less advice as I have not been in that situation. If myrt is still competent to make her own decisions this will be very difficult. I hope others will have more advice for this question.

Angel
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