With mom in the late mid-point of AD, and dad burnt out trying to be a caregiver, as POA their doctor was demanded to call in services to do an assessment of their situation. They did come last week, did a 5-hour assessment, and are crafting a care plan. I live 3-hours away, and when I visit I'm always fed the "oh, we're fine" line. I have a sister who is local to them, but she has MS.

One of the possible outcomes is - that if the agency feels it necessary they'll insist that a Conservatorship to be set up. Not understanding what this was about, I went to youtube and found "With Heart: Understanding Conservatorship."

I live and work 3-hours away, giving up my FT job to facilitate this isn't an option. This in-itself is a FT job and you need to be local. I let the agency know this, and they told me to contact my attorney because it will be forced if they feel it's needed.

My family attorney agreed this job was not for a long-distance sibling, and said "The Conservatorship, if approved, will then effectuate their move and the sale of their assets – all at great expense." I will lose all control and 'say' of their destiny and care, and apparently wipe out their life savings.

Moving my parents closer isn't an option; their friends, life and my ailing sister are all nearby in CT while I'm in N.E. MA.

Does anyone have experience with a Personal/Estate Conservatorship? Thoughts?

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What "agency" are you specifically referring to? Area Agency on Aging? APS?

My first thought is to consider a memory care or similar placement for your mother to address her illness; your father could then recover but continue to see her w/o having the full responsibility of care.

I assume you do realize that the advice on wiping out savings is true; so-called professional conservators or guardians will accelerate depletion of any savings you have. You could find a good facility on your own and conserve the assets.

I worked for awhile at a law firm with an estate planning practice, which included some conservatorship/guardianship actions. The financial abuse by appointed guardians and conservatorships convinced me that I would never consider these options and would fight tooth and nail if they were ever suggested. Just my opinion, though.

There's another issue and that's not only financial abuse but isolation of the ward, including from the family. I don't have cites right now, but google the topic and you'll read of horror stories. I believe the AARP Bulletin included one of these stories.

But what really shocked me was a tv presentation on this abuse happening in my county, which I had previously thought was providing good service to the elderly.

Placement in private homes seems to have the most potential for abuse. The conditions were abysmal, the wards were isolated, families cut off....misery all around, while the bank accounts and assets were depleted.

I would start searching for a good memory care placement.
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