My father had a heart attack and was on life support. It affected his cognitive function and now he is in a nursing home. Both my sister and I live out of state and a conservator was appointed by the court.

The conservator has decided that his home and all of his possessions need to be sold, even though my dad has 1.4 million in usable cash. My sister and I were allowed to ask for a few items.

I traveled to his home two days ago and picked up the few things we could take. Yet, I was not allowed to look through the house and was given an inventory list that was 10 percent complete. There are very valuable things not listed.

I went to see my dad and asked the facility if he has been told that his life's possessions are being sold at a garage sale, and they said no one has been by to speak with him. I was his first visitor since Covid 19 hit.

I know he may not understand, but it seems so wrong that he is not told. It is awful.

Has anyone else experienced this? I lost my job due to Covid and cannot pay for an attorney, but is there anything I can do?

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I recently liquidated dad's house and property. While he does have stocks and bonds that could be sold, he can no longer ever use that house and property AND the gain on the property is exempt from capital gains tax while selling the much more appreciated stocks and bonds are not. He did know about the sale and ultimately agreed with the reasoning and that I was doing this in his best interest. However, he also was deemed incompetent and I would have done it anyway because he cannot make informed decisions that are in his best interest and has demonstrated that to me time and time again. I don't know WHO was appointed this third party conservator and what they have to gain from this but it's possible this is best for him.
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I responded to your other post. I am under the impression (and a member is free to correct me) that a conservator is appointed only when there is no family who can step up? Or, family cannot care for the person. With Dads money, could no family member get conservatorship? You can use their money.

So sorry you are going thru this. Read my response in ur other post.
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The conservator will act in the interest of the ward under the auspices of the court. I would try to retrieve what family momentos are of importance to you and leave the rest in the hands of those assigned. This is what happens when family cannot handle these matters, or when there is so much dissention that it is taken from their hands.
No, you mention that your father is unlikely to be able to understand this.If your Dad has a conservator then it is already testified to and adjudged that he is not competent to make his own decisions. As family members you would have been apprised of these proceedings? If that is the fact why would you burden him with this. He can do nothing about it in any way; don't hurt him with it. Try to retrieve pictures, make him an album he can look at, and leave this in the hands of the state to handle for him. A home cannot be left without care indefinitely as it will begin to come into disrepair and be costly to your father's estate. These monies will be invested for his care and this is a good thing, for he is likely to need care now ongoing.
Wishing you all the best.
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Apparently your Father, Sister and you have had a rather "rocky' relationship as discussed in your posting of November 20, 2019 and that is why you knew so little about your Father's health and why a Conservator was selected.�

"My sister will not tell me where my father has been placed. Can she do that?"
Info: "My father had a heart attack three weeks ago and was moved to a skilled nursing g facility. I am flying in tomorrow to see him but my sister wont tell me where he is.
My father has been asking to see me this last year over and over again, and now I am scared I may have waited too long..."

I am sorry that you and your family do not get along and that your Father has to have a Conservator to make his financial and healthcare decisions. Unfortunately you and your sister contributed to this situation and are now "paying the price" of not getting along with each other.

Did you and your sister consult an attorney when the Conservator was appointed so that you knew what to expect or did you just "accept" things as they were told to you without talking to an attorney when the Conservator process first started?
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I have to ask . . .were you aware of his heart attack at the time, and then being placed in SNC at the time? If you were. why didn't you take action at that time? And if you were not . .why not?

You were to STEP IN the MOMENT something went wrong with your parent.

Consult an attorney asap.

As long as you're concerned with his 'estate' . . why we're you not there to protect him and his interests at the time of need.

For myself:
I know I did everything I possibly could from the time I suspected she was a vulnerable, to the time she was a target. I was warned by others to keep guard . . to this day I am still aiming to protect my mom's interests. She has passed. I'm still making sure I protect her legacy , and her estate . . from predators (government) .
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Emilly Oct 2020
Thank you for the feedback..

My dad didn't have a living will just a will, which is why a conservator was appointed and I thought it would be best for him.
My sister lives 2000 miles away from him and I live 700.

Yes I was aware of his heart attack and the need to be placed in memory care and I did visit. The court hearing was during the stay home covid nightmare in March and was virtual.

I work two jobs to survive and care for my significant other who has PAH and cannot live in altitudes above 3000 feet, so I can't be in colorado long term, if that answers your question of why I didn't step in sooner. I don't have the resources to pick up and leave on a moment's notice, as that is simply the way it is.

My dad worked hard for his estate, and every penny should be spent on his comfort, and I thought a conservator was the best way to make sure that happens.

I made my own living will for my son's last month, and hopefully history won't repeat itself.

Thanks for the advise..
Thank you for your answers..

I guess I need to explain it a little better...

He was appointed the conservator by the court and we were informed of this. I didnt object and thought it would be in his best interest.

My father was told that this happened four months ago. Yet, the conservator had to go to court to get the judge to let them sell the house and his possessions. I was given a document and my sister was as well. But, no one told my dad that everything was being sold. He would need someone to tell him, not just give him a paper. He probably wouldn't understand, but he has a right to be told, doesn't he?

The estate sale is tomorrow, there is an incomplete inventory list, and by the end of the day everything he worked so hard for will be sold for peanuts or given to the good will. My sister and I are not even allowed to retrieve items after the sale before they are donated.

I feel like he is being ripped off.

I will contact an attorney for a consult, but I won't be able to retain him.

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Blue24 Sep 2020
Ugh . . .

I'm so sorry. I was warned of this sort of thing when my mom started to fail

I posted above and only just as a warning to others. I was fortunate to have peers tell me to be aware of predators . . . I heeded the warnings and took a stance. Still doing so even after death! I was wary of caregivers, everyone . . . my mom was SOO so exposed and vulnerable . .and I had no legal control. I just had to make sure my presence was everywhere, and that I wouldn't let anyone get away from ripping off my mom.

Please . . seek an attorney that can help you fight this. It's not right what you're going through.
Dad would have had to be declared incompetent. You would have been notified of conservator hearing. Did you appear? Who would have taken care of maintenance and taxes, etc on the house? Conservator will have to make financial reports to the court. Talking to dad about selling, if dad is incapacitated will not work. Even if told he would likely forget or not be able to process the information.

What happened to dad to place him in this situation.

Seeing your other question, you really need an attorney.
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Yes. I experienced a similar situation but by no means was my parent a millionaire. The nursing home applied to the court for conservatorship even though I had full POA and full legal authority to make medical and health decisions. The lawyer who "represented" your father is obligated to meet with him. You need to get a lawyer right now, and if you can't then get in touch with the probate court who allowed this conservator to be appointed without informing you and your sister who are his next of kin. The nursing home is the one who wanted conservatorship over him and now they have it. This is unbelievable. Your father is a millionaire and he made no such provisions or stipulations about who will handle his money or how? You and your sister need to get on this right now because no part of his estate will be saved because you've allowed a nursing home to be in charge and they will shamelessly pillage and plunder every cent he has without restraint and at alarming speed, because you and your sister handed it to them on a silver platter. You can fight this and you damn well should. Make an appointment for a consultation with an attorney. You will not have to pay for a consultation. Or speak with the attorney your father did business with when he was well and handling his own affairs. If he has over a million dollars in cash assets alone, then he has a lawyer somewhere. Find them.
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worriedinCali Sep 2020
Playing the devils advocate, the OPs dad could easily lose his million dollars because of medical bills. The nursing home is easily $10k a month. It may make more sense financially to liquidate rather than pay to maintain the home (which may not even be paid off). Every month the conservative has to pay the household bills, is more money going out the door.
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