I got Hospice involved and with my dad and they were great, with my mom most of them have been really good and helpful, I took respite for 5 days when I found out it was available cause I knew nothing about it and that's helped tremendously, but I get a call Wednesday from another hospice SW and here comes the I suggest you throw money at the problem mentality that I have a huge problem with, first was the suggestion of adult day care 3 times a week... that's $50 per day, $150 per week and $600 per month, I explained money was an issue and got the "But it's only $50 a day" response... WTH.!
Conversation continued then I stated : "Knowing I have the option for respite every 30 days helps a great deal if I need it." and the answer I got peeved me off to the point where I'm still fuming her response was : "That's not how it works and if you were to do that we'd find issue with you as a Caregiver and take action from there."
Problem is that is how it works from everything that's been explained to me by other SW and the Nurses, I even asked around and other people that have been through this said that sounds absurd that this SW would even say such a thing...
Am I wrong or right that respite is 5 days every 30 days if one chooses to go that route.
Please keep in mind this isn't my big idea to do this but if it's a rough month then of course I need a break, I need a break. I'd like to keep mom at home as much as possible though so this is not in my plan, but to be threatened in this manner I take issue with that, Obviously this SW has never been through this with anyone or she just cold hearted.
I'm going to be calling the SW I normally work with and see what she has to say but I'm interested if anyone has ever gone through this before.
10 years I've been a full time Caregiver and the only time I've ever taken off was when mom or dad (Dad's passed) was in the hospital and even those times I was on call to deal with mom when the hospital couldn't manage her, seems I take one respite and all of a sudden I'm an evil villain because I mention it's good to know the option exist.
I'm glad things are working out. I had a similar experience as well with professionals who you'd think would be in your corner. I learned there are other options available but unfortunately sometimes you're on your own trying to navigate and people who you'd think would be in your corner are not, and finances are usually part of the equation.
Mom came home yesterday (Saturday July 13) and everyone at the Hospice House was great, mom loved it but as far as the claims that one so called social worker made I don't see it, yes mom remembers her last church she was going to but after that it's pretty much nothing has changed an as far as mom being ready to run a marathon as that social worker tried to tell me she was capable of walking....... Well if you count 3 steps then stuck I guess she's good to go, I don't know what that person was talking about, I do admit I kind of got my hopes up only to see them crushed shortly after getting mom back to the house.
Yes' there are always a few that I truly believe are working in their best interest and trying to fill their pockets with others hard earned money, I'm thinking this was a case of someone being paid to promote and in my personal opinion if that was the situation I find it appalling.
Thank God it's been dealt with and that person is not assigned to my case in the first place.
Now I just need to figure out if the 30 day intervals for Respite are counted as 30 days or 30 business days as mom is looking forward to my next Respite.................
It's funny cause she doesn't want to be in a nursing home but she felt it was more of a vacation for herself then for me and if it makes her happy then I'm going to take advantage of it for her sake.
I'm glad your situation is resolved. Your experience is a learning lesson. Always get the name and position of anyone talking to you about your loved one. Always understand why they are calling you. Do not have a conversation with someone who does not understand your loved one's situation; you are only wasting your time and raising your blood pressure.
In your friends case and I'm only guessing maybe the Hospice House was overcrowded and the local nursing homes weren't on board due to financial reasons (Not going to make enough money seems to be the normal excuse from many of these nursing homes).
I could be wrong but both (2) our social workers that are assigned to my mother case have explained the process to me more then once and that's the standard answer I've gotten every time.
This was fully explained to me directly by two different Social Workers and Senior Affairs of Florida.
I'd work with your "good" SW to get what you and Mom need and ask how to best get the rogue person reined in. As a colleague, your SW may be constrained in what she can do/report. As a client, you probably have much more power to get some corrective action taken.
Come to find out over half of what she was telling me was an outright lie and the center has dealt with this individual already, at least she's no longer allowed to speak to me.....
The kicker in the end was she misrepresented herself as she's not even a Social Worker just a Nurse (Probably on some power trip.)so she had no authority to say the things she said to me in the first place.
I'm just glad it's behind me and all straightened out now and I seriously hope no one else is ever subjected to that type of treatment.
This is a really good Hospice and this is the first time I ever had any issues, I don't blame anyone but that one individual that went rogue for whatever her reason......... Maybe my mother broke her....
Mom is on Hospice in a facility?
This SW was from another Hospice? Not the one Mom is with? If this is true all you had to say that Mom was placed with Happy Home Hospice. You are now working with them with the care of Mom. Thanks for calling then hang up. I think she stepped out of bounds. Really? Daycare for someone who is ready for hospice.
I am not big on SWs. Most I have dealt with don't look out of the box.
Best example I can give you is when mom left the rehab center I was supposed to have a wheelchair by that Monday all they needed was her doctor to sign off on it, didn't get the prescribed wheelchair for 2 weeks.
Hospice came in asked what I needed and I had everything before the end of the same day they admitted her into their care.
This Hospice has saved my backside so one bad experience I won't blame on everyone that works there.
Always verify the information with the people assigned to your case and yes I have all their direct cell numbers to contact them when needed.
I'm just still fuming being talked to in that manner and wanted to give myself time to cool off before speaking with our regular SW, I didn't want to accidentally take anything out on her for someone else's actions.
Thank you for your support.
I called one of the SW I normally work with and she was also floored by what I was telling her and now she's going to her case manager to find out what this other SW was thinking.
As it turns out I am entitled to 5 days respite every 30 days without being accused of failing to perform the duties of a full time Caregiver, also interesting to find out mom hasn't been seen by any hospice doctor while at the hospice house so where this SW came up with a medical diagnosis to tell me my mother isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be was total BS.
I also informed them I was billed for medical transport when hospice was the one that insisted on the transport.
Seems they have a loose nut behind the steering wheel that needs to be addressed.
Right now I'm waiting for a call back.
I'll update then but please keep in mind this hospice other then this episode has been simply outstanding to not only myself but both my father until the end and now my mother.
I am happy that it is being addressed and you get 5 days respite a month. That is fabulous.
The way you were treated is out of line and I would be looking for another hospice provider if she doesn't get pulled off your case.
I am sorry that you have been subjected to this hateful, useless social worker.
I'm just still fuming being talked to in that manner and wanted to give myself time to cool off before speaking with our regular SW, I didn't want to accidentally take anything out on her for someone else's actions.
Thank you for your support.