I am confused and concerned for my parents. I am in a situation that is not easily fixed.

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My parents are 66 and 75 YOA and have been developing new and worsening health issues. I am the only child living in Florida. I am currently residing in the home with them, and I need help. I have found it more and more necessary for me to be here. I need to be able to make a living, but I don't feel comfortable leaving them unattended. They are unable to help each other if something happened. She has trouble walking due to continually breaking her foot and being scheduled for spinal surgery after the first of the year. He has two broken ribs due to a fall recently, as a result of an ongoing problem with blood pressure drops causing dizziness and falls with NO warning. They both experience memory problems and NEED help. If I can't work outside the home, I need help here. How can I supplement my income?? Thank you !!!

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I agree that they may eventually need around the clock care that you will not be able to provide. It's really not realistic to expect that of yourself for one person, let alone two. Unless, they can afford to hire care givers to come into the home and help them, then, I'd see what they may qualify for.

As long as they are competent, I'd give them the information and they can take it from there. It's very difficult to convince someone they need in-home help or assisted living. If they are still competent, it's their decision.

You might ask if they would consent to have an assessment done. Some states require a doctor's order or professional assessment in order to get Assisted Living benefits, if their state provides that. Some states pay for AL for those who qualify according to a doctor and financially.

If they are relying on you to stay with them around the clock, I'd explain that that is not possible. I might even try to move out, so they get just how much help they need. It might sound mean, but, what they will need sounds just too much for one person.

You might make sure they have their Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare POA, Living Wills, signed and in a safe place you can get to.

I'd plan now, to avoid a crisis down the road.
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How long have you been living in your parents' home and how fast can you get back to wherever you were before?

You are young, and *so are your parents*. They're no age to speak of. They do have significant health conditions, but do not infantilise them by taking over responsibility for them. They are responsible for themselves, and for one another. Assist them to find appropriate support, do not get inextricably involved, and DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB.
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Whatever you do, don't give up your job/income in order to care for your parents. There's no financial security in caring for elderly parents. Your financial wellbeing would depend upon their health and that can change in an instant.

As someone else wrote, in home healthcare is very expensive and not a lot of people can afford it. If your parents can't live on their own you might consider a skilled nursing facility for one or both of them. That's expensive too but there are programs in place like Medicaid that help with the cost.
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swest0720, when I was reading about your Dad and his blood pressure drops, is he taking blood pressure medicine? If yes, have Dad see his doctor as it sounds like his dosage is too high. My sig other had problems with getting dizzy when he stood up and he felt like he was going to pass out.... doctor cut his blood pressure dosage and that helped.

My gosh your Mom is always breaking her foot. Why is that happening?

I think once your parents get their ailments under control, and have their meds checked [some can make one not think clearly] then maybe your parents can have their independence back.
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Get to the nearest Sarasota Senior Center and ask about help. Those centers are a wealth of information.
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Start getting prepared to have a life. Do you have POA? What is the financial situation? It sounds like they are ready for a care facilty. If they stay in their home it would take near 24/7 care at this point. That's big money. You health and welfare should come first. You can do them no good if your a bankrupt basket case. Start making some changes now.
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I took care of people also which were competent to make decisions but in reality shouldnt have been given those choices. You are still quite young and you need to realize that your parents are not your responsibility. In my opinion which is only moral not legal, it is your responsibility to ensure they are properly cared for not that you personally do the hands on care.

It drains you and you will question yourself and feel like crap. My mom is similiar in age to your 66 year old parent and she knows after everything I have seen that I will never ever be a part of her care other than helping her arrange services for herself.

You need to step back and evaluate things and what you really want for your life and what you feel you deserve. Do not feel obligated to do the hands on care because it is just horrible. I am sorry for being so negative about this but if i knew about this board several years ago and taken advice then, I would not be where I am now. Best of luck
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