Can you confront your parent with what they are doing is wrong or crazy?

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Why would you even go there??
Do you wish to be right or happy??
I am married to a man who KNOW EVERYTHING. He also suffers from Solvent Dementia. Kind of reminds me of my kid's when they were younger & alive.
All I do is smile & walk away. I also wear a bracelet I made that I use the beads on to pray with as he speaks, if I don't agree. Works for me, or I go play the Guitar.
I don't try to tell him much for that always makes me be "the enemy." I don't wish to be the enemy. I don't have to be right either. I just have to loving listen....
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In our case is it my sister who is still highly functional and in many cases when people first meet her they are surprised to learn she has Alzheimer's. She has not started using the bad words but she does the repetitive question thing a lot. I believe the problem with family members caring for their loved ones is it is so hard to change those "old" roles. More than likely the caregiver was a younger person who always respected the elder so the thought of having to treat them "like a child" is difficult. Mostly it's because we get embarrassed for them and ourselves when around others. At home you can ignore the bad words and just keep answering the questions they same way ever time. Just stay calm and remember they are now like a small child and really don't remember. Around others just share that she has dementia and most people understand. Sometimes trying to change the subject or getting them involved in something else will also help. But a lot of times you just have to wait until (as my niece says) they "change the channel" and move onto something else.

I agree that for the most part if it is something that is not dangerous maybe just annoying or will cause you aggravation at having to clean up later, it really is better to just sit back make sure it doesn't get out of hand. They do not understand most of the time when told they "can't" do something and many times get angry if they are told they "have" to do something. Better to lose the battle and win the war.

Depending on how functional they are if they still can carry on conversations and have the ability to reason sometimes, I agree that carefully getting their full attention and explaining the why something can't be done or has to be done in a calm and soothing voice usually works. Also try to be sure that you answer their specific question, recently we found that my sister was upset and confused because when she asked a question or wanted to know why she could or couldn't do something we were not being clear enough and it caused frustration then anger. Even though the anger is sort lived, especially if you are caring for a loved one, it hurts.

If you are caring for your loved one because finances will not allow you to get an outside caregiver then get other family members, friends, church members etc. to relieve you. Even if it's just for a couple of hours to go see a movie or have lunch with a friend, you need that respite time. There are agencies that provide "sitter" care and the rates are fairly reasonable when you consider that it could save your health and well being. DO NOT cut yourself off from socializing and doing things that you like to do because too many family care givers get sick themselves.

Seek console through your Senior Centers, church and council on aging, you MUST take care of yourself, if you get sick then what will happen to the one you are caring for? And above all remember that whatever they do it is not with the intent to frustrate you it's just the nature of the disease. And like someone said before if they could they would tell you how much they love you for the care you are giving them. My Mom and two of my older sisters have Alzheimer's, I have a VERY good chance of getting it myself. So I have started now letting my daughter and any other family members who may have to take care of me know that I realize how difficult it is and ask them to try and remember that if/when this happens to me somewhere deep down inside I am still there and loving them. God bless you each and every one of you who have taken on the task of caring for your loved ones.
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A little trick I learned at a caregivers support group is to redirect. Change the subject. Give them a task to do or a pleasant past conversation to recall and talk about. Sometimes the temper tantrum is a to get attention as a spoiled child. Just to have interaction with you and get their own way. If a brate child may want to stick their hand in the fire you have to fill those hands, put a lolly pop in one hand and a teddy bear in the other hand.
Change their thoughts and occupy their time. They need to feel validated.They don't remember from one minute to the next anyway, so redirection does work and it avoids the" fire" of debates and tantrums that you will never win. Their reasoning skills are gone. Their brain does not connect the dots. The moments they live in are their real feelings, their lives now. Its important try to keep them calm, not frustrated and to feel of value in their "only moments" to experience, as they lituraliary live in the moment.
I am the sole caregiver of my 95 year old Mother with Dementia and it has been a long," challenging" road of learning for us both..Redirection has saved my sanity and I try to be patient with time for a lot of redirection through out the day.
May God guide you and bless you and your family.
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These are all good answers! Thank you
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Quick answer -- No. They're not reasonable. So, you can't reason with them.
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As an afterthought, maybe she finds her bathing suit uncomfortable. You could try getting her a beach cover-up to wear instead, something that allows her freedom of movement but that covers everything that needs covering.
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I confront my parents who are 77 and 73 years old, but it doesn't help.

I don't think they have much dementia, but the problem with my dad is that he overestimates what he should be doing physically. He is a cardiac patient, but doing well. It's fine to stay active, but he uses poor judgement in working outside in the heat and doing very strenuous labor, and he doesn't have to do this. I confront him and tell him that he acting very selfish by doing it and that it causes others to worry and if it puts him in the hospital, it's us who have to have their schedules interrupted to care for him. He will go out in 90 degree weather and load wood or tools onto his trailer. He'll pull weeds or do other labor intensive work. I've talked until I'm blue in the face, but he refuses to listen. I'm beyond ticked off.

And no, he refuses to go to the gym, walk or swim. It's quite ridiculous. There is no way to stop him, except following behind him 24/7 and I can't do that. I'm too busy working and trying to get some help for my cousin who has really bad dementia, who won't listen to me either. lol
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TherIsNoTry is correct. It's Teepa Snow. She's outstanding in her recommendations/suggestions in dealing with people with Alzheimers. This is her website. (She also has YouTube videos to watch.) teepasnow/about.html
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At least she puts on a towel. I expect full frontal nudity at any time from my MIL, She recently tired to flash a TSA agent at the Detroit airport. She said she wanted to show him that she didn't have "any guns or bombs in my bosoms."

Husband tried to hush her up by whispering that it was a bad idea to say "guns or bombs" while going through airport security, at which point she gave him the stink eye and hissed that she had a right to say whatever she wanted.

Changing the subject works sometimes when the elderly person starts cursing. I think they curse because they're aware that those words are powerful and likely to get attention, or maybe they've just lost their inhibitions and no longer fell the need to be "ladylike."

The constant questions are what get to me. It's probably best just to answer briefly and calmly.
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I did tell you...talking dirty and using the same comments all the time when people ask her questions.Now she is doing the naked thing taking her bathing suit off in the back yard and putting on a towel!! Not pretty, I know its only going get worse and I am losing it.
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