What are the conditions of being POA? e.g. living in a different state, regular visits, etc.

There are no rules about where a POA lives. You can still keep him informed by visiting your father and asking staff how he is doing. If you see decline in behavior, weight loss, dehydration, alert the POA immediately.

You could also split it up and you handle the medical and immediate needs and your brother, from afar, handle the financial and property aspects. That is what we've done with our daughters, in our trust. One daughter is an RN, and is STRONG, so she has medical POA. She would know how to talk to physicians, hospital personnel etc and how to research re: medical conditions. The other daughter will have property/financial etc because handling money is her strength demonstrated so far. They are able to work together OK at this time, so as long as that continues in their relationship, it should work. For my parents, I have all POAs because I am the only child left. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share it with....and other times, after reading about all the negative family issues that get discussed on here, I am glad I am alone. My daughters give me a lot of support when I ask them. I've even had to fly both of them into town more than once in the past year, because so much was happening between applications for VA and Medicaid and on the ground issues with my folks. I am doing it from living 5 hours away, and visiting them once or twice a month to deal with hands on things/assessments at the dementia unit and going to some key MD app'ts with my Mom. We have a case manager in their town who can do things when I cannot get down there. Sharing the load will work, in my opinion, IF you and your brother basically get along well and can communicate regularly in a team effort. Otherwise, if those conditions are in place, and you don't mind being his eyes and ears, he can live anywhere and handle the POA situation.

In order for you to take over POA for your father, a new POA document instrument would have to be initiated unless you are a Co-POA. POA responsibilites cannot be arbritarily transferred to another person.

A POA can live anywhere. He does need to check in once in awhile to see how your father is doing.

A will usually designates. POA and usually a alternate if one declines or gives up this position.

My mother's Trust, states that I am her DPOA, then next in line is older sister, then younger sister. If I want to give up my position I can to the sister next in line. I however could move anywhere and maintain my DPOA, I do think it is better to be close at hand and involved in what is happening. Ask you brother if he would allow you to take over as DPOA since he is moving. If he does not wish to, he does not have to, but if you state why you think it might be better if you took over, he might agree. Since he does not seem to be involved he may see it as a plus to let you take over.

Good Luck, It isn't easy!