Mom lives with us. Dad passed away 2 years ago. A friend has proposed marriage to Mom. He hasn't been around for months since we moved about 2 hours away from where she lived the past 40 years. And now out of the blue, he asks her to marry him.
He is about 15 years older than her. He seems healthy but he won't live forever. I'm not sure he's entirely sure of what her needs are. I am happy that she sould have companionship and also be out of our house. But I don't know if he will prepare for her future without him and she herself has no resources at all. Which is why she is with us.
One of my brothers and my sister both had big issues with him a 18 months ago when he tried to date Mom. I know part of this was that Dad had only just passed away and they were upset. But now, I am worried they will "blame" me if they marry. Of course, I don't think I can really stop them or "forbid" it. But I don't want to deal with my siblings on this or run interference for Mom.
My husband says that if Mom does marry, then she has proven she can take care of herself and doesn't need us anymore. And that if she moves out, she can't expect to come back (like if her new husband dies and leaves her penniless like her last husband, my dad, did.)
I don't even know what else to think at this point. Am I bad to want her to move out and let someone else take care of her? Am I bad to worry about what everyone else thinks?