I'm concerned Mom can't continue living where she is now and needs to move to an assisted living facility. Any guidance?

Does the Independent Living facility have optional care levels?   Some will do more care for a certain fee.

For my Dad I eventually had to get the Med Tech option because he wasn't taking his nightly pills.   Then later I had to get the Night Care option where an Aide would come in to help Dad get ready for bed.   Now, there was a cost for each of these two options.

Then the IL staff said it was time for Dad to move to Assisted Living Memory Care.   To my surprised, it was cheaper than IL, and this was at the same complex.   And all the higher level of care options were already included in the monthly rent.

I realize that each facility has their own rates, so it takes a lot of checking around.

Get an Eldercare lawyer. They can help with Medicaid eligibility. I am surprised that the retirement home hasn't insisted she be moved if she is wandering? And yes, I have the same experience as you. Not enough money to afford to live somewhere but too much money to qualify for medicaid. Very annoying. Just about everything having to do with getting care for my mother has had me running circles. It's exhausting but eventually works out. Good luck!

The ON Canada goverment offsets any money that a person needs for long term care home. That also includes a single too ifone comes available. My mother only received 2 small Canadian pensions which did not cover a LTC care home (and a single room) it was subsidied by the goverment of Canada.They also allowed her some leftover money for little things needed during the month. More needs to be done in the US I would think to help your seniors.

When my father in a Chicago suburb was no longer able to live independently in his home, I was referred to a "retirement hotel" in an adjoining suburb. I checked it out, took him there and then moved him in 4 weeks later. He had forgotten about it by then. They provided 3 meals a day and nursing staff was on site to provide medical care as needed. We paid for that separately. My sister saw a couple of ladies next store helping a man there and found out they provided care, too. They charged $7.00 a day. We said we would pay them $10. They would come in each morning and help him get ready, lay out his meds and clean his room, then go on to the next customer. The sisters were both retired and didn't need a lot of income. They were with my dad when he laid back down one morning and passed away. I was grateful he didn't die alone. My sister and I paid them a large bonus, which they didn't want, but when I told them that they knew good ways to use that money for others or their church, they accepted it. They came to his funeral and I was so grateful for their care and kindness. We just "lucked out," I guess. My dad could pay for this out of his monthly income and still keep his house. My brother and I would visit him once a month, driving from 2 states away, and we would stay at the house and check things out. For a while we would take our dad there to visit, but after a while, he didn't want to do that anymore, or to attend his church on Sunday. He lived in the retirement hotel about 8 months before passing. The food service lady always made sure to have something for him that she knew he liked to eat, but his eating ability was fast diminishing. He had had several strokes and his brain was starting to "shut down," I guess. We gave her a bonus, too, as thanks for her special efforts on his behalf. All this happened in 1999, so things have probably changed since then. I haven't seen such an option here in the Minneapolis suburbs where I am in charge of a friend of mine as his POA, but I was able to find a one bedroom memory care apartment for him and his wife, who has since passed, and where they provide excellent care. My friend is physically healthy, but just can't remember things. I am relieved he is happy there and that he receives good care, too. But, it is much more expensive than the option I found for my father. We have several years worth of money to use, so he's in good shape financially. His monthly retirement income, half of his wife's retirement income, social security, and long term care insurance pay for a nice chunk of the $7,000+ cost per month for now. When I get his condo sold, that will go to his savings and provide another two or three years of funding.

I had to keep my Mom at my home because she has no home or any real assets. She qualified for medicade (by a hair) and I was able to work and send her to day care (she enjoyed it,like high school drama included). Two years later she went over medicade threshold. So I was left with no insurance. Sold her small insurance policy and a lot of stressing and determination (I was not taking no for an answer) and we are back on medicade. Unfortunately very few assited living facilities accept medicade. She's ready for a NS,so fingers crossed they have a bed. I tried finding a AL,but there was only one. A big fat no,it was awful. Please call your local county aging office. I'm not shy and called my state office when I wasn't satisfied. I started at the TOP. I must have told my story a million times. Guess what,the head honcho made some calls and boom! I had some answers and some much needed help. So don't be shy,help is available. Squeaky wheels get the oil. Good luck and googling is a huge help!

It's sounds like she may need a SNH.

Most Assisted Living places don't take Medicaid. There was only ONE place here in Central NY that did have Medicaid beds, and there was a waiting list for a year! I was beside myself. We did go to a few facilities and they listened and said it sounded as if my mother was too far advanced in dementia to live in an Assisted Living place anyway. It sounded as though she was more suited to go to a Nursing Home, so we got the nurses evaluation at her home and (everything else being in order, Medicaid, POA, etc.) and she was admitted soon after. It sounds to me, LW, that your mother is also too far advanced, being unable to bathe, speak, is wandering. She will fall and break something. Assisted Living residents need to be at a certain level, so please look into a placement where she can get more care. Don't delay, as there seems to be a waiting list everywhere now.

I would just go ahead and look into her going into the nursing home, spending her money that she does have (self-pay) until she goes on Medicaid. It sounds like the best option, given the medical issues she has. I just went through all this with my in-laws. She sounds like she need the level of care the nursing home provides, rather than Assisted Living.