Follow
Share

So they have once again changed grandmother's medicines. Last night was the first night of all the meds and it was a living hell. He put her on 30 mg Temazepam and 15 mg Remeron..the night before we just did the 30mg Temazepam and although she didn't sleep long she wasn't a total nightmare. Last night with the addition of Remeron she was a mess. The best way I can describe it was an angry drunk monkey walking around. She fell and stumbled into everything multiple times, yelled at and pushed me and didn't end up staying in bed until 2am. The doctor gave me lorazepam for emergency agitation which I gave her today and it's done nothing. I'm to the point where I've lost all hope for anything helping..she's got the tolerance of an elephant! All I can do is pray now.. I'm trying my best to keep her home with us but I'm not sure how much more I can take.. no sleep and taking care of her and my ornery 3 year old is taking it's toll on me. 😥

Find Care & Housing
"I just want her to have some kind of quality of life. . ."

And you and your son deserve a good quality of life, too! I know my ability to cope with, let alone enjoy, life takes a major nosedive if I am not sleeping basically through the night (with maybe one visit to the bathroom, sure). I assume your little one may need you in the night fairly often, so between him and your grandma, you aren't getting anywhere near the amount of sleep you need to function.

Is grandma needing help to use the bathroom at night, as well? Is she incontinent?

Another thought I'm having, not to be mercenary but this house that you and at least some of the family want to save if at all possible. . . Presumably the heirs to it eventually would be your mom or dad, plus the uncle you mentioned. Is it possible that your parent will need to sell it for his or her own health needs, and all the proceeds will be used up? Maybe uncle when the time comes will demand that the estate reimburse him for the care he provided to grandma at one time? Could other heirs to the estate or other debts of grandma's pop up that you don't know about?

In other words, when all is said and done, could it be that this house is not really worth that much in $ to you and in terms of your son's future welfare?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to SnoopyLove
Report

Sunny Sunshine,
What was she like before the new medicines?
When exactly was the onset of the really bad behavior?

Important here:
Take her to urgent care or ER and have her checked for a UTI. Behaviors are
an important factor in the elderly. Unbelievable, isn't it? Do this now. She will be unable to give UTI symptoms to the doctor, demand a test, demand more than a dip stick urinalysis.

Doctors have denied a urinalysis for an elderly man, but he was taken to ER and treated for the UTI he DID HAVE. This is the hill you want to die on. (means, you want to win this battle). Happens all the time.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Sendhelp
Report
SunnySunshine Jan 11, 2019
Probably a month and a half ago she started not sleeping but maybe 3 hours a night. She does not sleep at all in the daytime either so we reached out to the doctor for help. She has been on numerous meds that they are in complete disbelief have not worked. Trazadone, Seroquel and now the Temazepam and Remeron.. the Temazepam alone worked great for about a week but then stopped. She has been checked for UTI each time we have been to the doctor which has been at least once a month for the past 4 months now. I am on the verge of calling for an ambulance to come get her if this continues every night.. I just want her to have some kind of quality of life..
(3)
Report
You need to talk to her doctor about a plan to get her admitted to a psychiatric facility until they get her meds stabilized.

If the doctor is not hearing your concerns, call 911 the next time she pushes you and have her taken to the ER. This is not a safe environment for you or your child.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report

You hit the nail on the head! 24 hours a day is too much. I feel your pain. I take care of my mom 24 hours a day too. But you have it worse because you have a young child who needs you too.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

I'm not sure how you handle that kind of situation safely. I'd explore having her hospitalized in order to get her medication adjusted and her stable. Have they mentioned that?
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Sunnygirl1
Report
SunnySunshine Jan 10, 2019
They have never mentioned that but my aunt and I were just discussing this. I'm thinking about having this done but not sure how to go about it.
(2)
Report
Oh my gosh! That is a nightmare. I would pray too. In fact, I’m saying prayers for you too. Wish I could give you a hug! God bless you.

Children can sense our stress. Kids are smart! He may be struggling also about things going on and kids that age can’t articulate their feelings. But it’s still hard for you.

I would tell her physician all side effects of any meds. If safety becomes an issue you shouldn’t ignore it. You have a child and he is a priority. I know I am not telling you anything you don’t already know. Just confirming the situation for you.

God bless you.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

So sorry to hear this! To care for a small child and a dementia patient at the same time sounds like a nightmare to me, although apparently other people on this forum are doing it or have done it at one time.

How old is your poor grandma? I see from your profile that you are fairly young so perhaps grandma is too? Unfortunately, Alzheimer's just gets worse AND can last for years. . .

I can understand how this set-up of living in your grandma's house as a single mom and taking care of her in her time of need might have seemed like a perfect solution to all concerned at first, but I wonder how sustainable it is. You obviously have a big heart, but I think it's time to start researching other options for you all.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to SnoopyLove
Report
SunnySunshine Jan 10, 2019
Grandma is 87 and has had this awful disease over 10 years now but in the last few months it has gotten significantly worse.

I moved in August 5th. I am the only one in the family that didn't own a home and I was not happy with the care she was getting from my uncle and his wife so as a family we decided on me moving in. I worked in a nursing home for years with people who had this same disease it's just different when it's someone you've known your whole life and when it's 24/7. We are trying to keep her home and not lose the house. Just getting the right meds is a real challenge.
(3)
Report
See 2 more replies
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter