My mother (96) has dementia, is nearly deaf and I don't have a way to communicate with her?

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She is combative when touched, try to dress, clean or bathe. I feel she no longer is able to process language and stays in bed unless it is to eat. She seems to no longer understand what I am needing to do for her. I am scratched and bruised almost daily. I am her sole caregiver as I am an only child. Funds are very limited and nursing home placement is not an option for financial reasons. I quit work to care for her so her social security is needed for monthly expenses. I don't know how to communicate with her any more and get her needs met.

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Also, she is on medications to keep the behaviors down...any more meds and she'd be a zombie and at risk for falling. My main concern is not being able to communicate with her. She cannot hear and I suspect is not able understand what is being said or even able to process what she sees.
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There is a 5yr "look back" on assets and we sold her house 3yrs ago and put that money on my mortgage to pay it down. Therefore, she has 2 more yrs to even qualify for Medicaid. I have called several facilities and this was confirmed and they have a 2yr wait list for "off the street" placement. The only way she could even get into a facility for Medicare to cover the first 100 days is being in the hospital for 3 nights. Her physical health is good.
She was actually "kicked out" of the last placement after hospitalization for not complying with physical therapy, so Medicare would not cover any additional time. Any facility will take all but 40.00 of her social security money in addition to Medicaid coverage. Some places I called will not keep her if she is so combative that it puts staff/residents at risk. I have asked all the questions and scenarios I can think of and this is pretty much what I am getting. It is a shame how the healthcare system in this country neglects those in most need.
I spend most of her social security money on outside help and providing what she needs personally. She does not get much as she never worked and gets my dad's portion now which is not much either. They lived very frugally and did without any extras. My income covers all the monthly expenses and the majority of the mortgage.
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Then I would go along with what the first person said about calling the Medicaid office and see what can be done. Have your ID info and your Moms ready because they will ask for it along with several other questions about her income. They will send you a packet to fill out. They have info here as to what they will ask in the Money & Legal tab above. Keep your chin up as you have to see this as another step closer to getting there! :)
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As well as making caring for her nearly impossible the fear and agitation she feels are distressing for her. Talk to her doctor about medications to calm her down.
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we are immigrants from Latvia, so there are no VA benefits....my parents were not able to afford long term care insurance and there really was not much in terms of an "estate".
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Was your Dad ever in the Military and possibly during war time? You could qualify for Aid & Attendance through the VA.
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Jana, your entire post, but especially your last sentence, tells me that you and your Mom are in a dangerous and unsustainable situation.

Listen to FF....you need to get the Medicaid process started ASAP.

Also, contact your local ALZ organization. They were tremendously helpful to me.

Finally, contact Mom's Dr. and ask if he can write orders for in-home help that would be covered under Medicare.
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Nursing homes can be paid by Medicaid. On Monday call your State Medicaid office and see if your Mom can apply. Sounds like your Mom needs a higher level of care.

Your Mom could also have an urinary tract infection which would make an elder become combative. Have Mom checked out.
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