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mom is 81 and is slowing down as any older person would. She wants to travel still but her health isn't the best. My brother recently went on a road trip with her. She was already sick when they left and she came down with pneumonia. He doesn't understand it takes older people a lot longer to recover. Now they are already planning another trip soon. How can I get it through his head this is not a good choice and he needs to say no sometimes.

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You're brother probably meant well, but if your mother was ill, he should not have taken the trip. If he were ill would HE still go on a trip? What would he have done if mom got very ill along the way? I agree with realtime, consult mom's doctor before the next road trip and get their ok. Can all of you go together to her doctor as a united front? How sweet that your mother enjoys getting out, doing things and that her son is willing to take her on teips, but her health comes first before her or your brother's wants. I'm sure you can get this point across to him in a calm manner. If he decides to be uncooperative then take her to the doctor yourself and air your concers. It's scary to think what could happen, for all of you, if your mom becomes really sick in a different city or state.
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Wouldn't your mother's doctor be the best person to decide on this? Tell your mother AND brother that you worry about her and hope they'll consult her doctor about her travelling, for her protection and your peace of mind. If the doctor says she's OK to travel, wish them bon voyage. If he says she isn't, both she and your brother are more likely to listen to him than to you. Maybe your brother could tell her that they'll postpone the trip until her doctor clears her to travel. My mother---in her 90s---has made a long road trip with family every year. Her doctor said he worried about the physical strain of the trip, but thought it was so important to her that it might be worse for her not to go. She went every year until this one; this year, she agreed to "postpone" the trip indefinitely.
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