Telling one family member one thing and turn around and telling another the exact opposite. After a bout of colon cancer and a colostomy, we made the decision to all live together to help dad. He wasn't eating right and was having difficulties living on his own. We have lived together 3 years now. We have been thru back surgery, eye surgery, colostomy, reversal, depression, falls..... We are the only source of help for dad. Yet we find that he will tell us one thing, and turn around and tell other family members the opposite thing - leaving us to look like the bad guy. The last thing was I asked him if he wanted me to get the Christmas tree down from the attic and decorate it. He said no, he did not want to bother with it and did not want to move anything to make room for it. Within one week he told his sister on the phone that no, his tree was not up because my husband is too busy to get it from the attic????? While this may seem little - stuff like this happens ALL THE TIME and makes us feel no matter what we do, it is never right. Why does he do stuff like that?, when we were the only ones to step up and take care of him so he did not have to go to a nursing home?
My mom can't keep track of the days either, so I got her a little clock that sits next to her chair that has the day/date/time/temp on it. It works when she can remember to look at it, which isn't often. So I have to constantly remind her. Since she's not going anywhere most days, it's really not that important. I just like to keep her as oriented in time as space as I can.
Do you have Power of Attorney for health and property for him? If not, you should get both of those taken care of, while he still has most of his mental faculties.
Cognitive decline can be very hard to assess if you are the thick of the situation . I remember having an "aha" moment with my mom when she was in the hospital a few years back; the discharge nurse came in an explained something fairly simple about the followup that mom was to do with her own doctor, and how the hospital wanted to make sure that she got good follow on care so as not to be readmitted. My mom looked sad and said, "oh I see. I can't come back to this hospital again I guess". I was astounded. We had a full neuropsych workup a few months later that confirmed the fact that she was no longer reasoning very well.
He's had a lot of medical care and probably a fair amount of anesthesia, which can cause changes in brain function. How old is he? I don't think you say that anywhere.