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The crying won't stop! I know the "I want to go home" is very common in Dementia patients but is it common for them to cry almost all day?


My mom will start after breakfast saying she has to go home and that she needs to call my brothers to pick her up. I tell her ok, we will call after they get out of work. She will not budge, she just cries saying what will she do now if she can't find a ride home. She keeps saying she needs to go home to her little kids who are home alone. Maybe I made a mistake by youtubing dementia videos because non of them show the patient crying, upset almost hyperventilating like my mom. I feel horrible! She came to live with me full time because she would call me and my brothers around the clock from her home saying she wanted to go home. But now I feel that I'm making things worse by taking her out of her home. She is so miserable! I'm just trying to help.


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My mom cried and cried. I called her doctor and told him- he put her on an anti-depressant and upped her Dimentia meds from 1 .5 Risperidone to 2 per day. Next morning - she was a different person. Im not big on medication but weighing her age, confusion, sadness- it just was necessary and npw- shes happy and can function. Call her doctor.
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Thanks so much! Yes, she used to call us around the clock asking to go home. Once we had her last neurologist test it confirmed to us that she could no longer live on her own. So I brought her to live with me. But here she wants to continue to call us to pick her up, most of the time I am only her relative and not her daughter, that kills me more. She gets upset because there is no house phone, we only have cell phones, that she can just pick up like she did at her house. She has her own cell phone but my brothers make it a point to call her on their way home from work but of course she forgets that she talks to them everyday. I do have an appointment with her dr to see about antidepressant medication.
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geewiz is right. Redirecting is your best bet right now. I'm sure it must be very difficult to watch your mom go through so much anxiety and heartbreak as a result of her disease but try diverting her attention. It's an exhausting task but it's really the only thing that works. Go with geewiz's suggestions. When your mom cries that she wants to go home tell her she has to wait until after lunch. Or tell her that the car isn't running right now. Anything to placate her in the moment. And as difficult as it is, do this all day long as long as your mom is upset. Reassure her. Comfort her. Distract her.

It's not you. You haven't done anything wrong. Your mom used to call you, crying, saying she wanted to go home so you thought she'd be happier living with you. You did the right thing. She's not alone anymore. This is a symptom of the dementia. I wonder how long this has been going on? Have you taken her to the Dr. and spoken to the Dr. about this? Maybe your mom would benefit from a small dose of an anti-anxiety medication.
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Depending upon the stage of dementia Mom is at, she may not be referring to her most recent home after all!. In my Mom's case, she wanted to go home and she had been living at that address for 6 years. When I asked for details, she described her childhood home. She was walking all over her complex looking for her home! The poor aide was exhausted! It settled down after a while.

When we moved her to memory care we learned a lot from those caregivers about how to handle things. Diversion tactics are the best. The roads are blocked due to construction so the bus can't get through! The bus company is going to call us and we are going to get everyone ready. She has to get home to the kids? A neighbor/friend/sibling offered to do that to help us. Etc etc. Good luck.
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