Comforting the patient. Any advice?

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Is Memory Care Facility the right term? She's been diagnosed with ALZ and is under constant care ... been there about 2 mos now @ 78 yrs of age. My daughter and I don't visit Wife/Mother at the same time .... No problem involved, we don't think its a good idea right now ... too much confusion. Some people say take flowers .... some say decorate her room with familiar items ... pics, etc. Some say ...go for a walk ... We'd appreciate any advice , experiences, etc. TIA

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It has to be so hard for you and your daughter. I'm not sure how advanced her dementia is, but, I'd likely just try a few things and go with what seems to work. I think all people are different. I know that I try to appeal to what my LO loves and enjoys the most. Her abilities have changed, since she first entered MC, so, I've had to adjust things, but, I try to cater to what she can handle, keeping in mind that her attention span is short and that she may not be able to show how she feels about things. I did decorate my LO's room with things she likes, photos of family members, her favorite singers, sports heroes, colors, animals, etc., but, I can't say if she noticed that much. She didn't focus much unless I pointed to things. What she did seem to enjoy were the treats that I brought her, like milk shakes, chips, cakes, Diet coke, etc. She really loved those treats and she was very demonstrative about it. I also take her photos of family members and talk about the old times. That makes her smile, even now. I used to escort her outside to the patio, but, she never seemed to like that much. She preferred staying in the unit and relaxing. She did enjoy an occasional drive. I'd also talk to the staff about what she enjoys. I used to take balloons, but, it was more for me than her, as she didn't seem to get much out of that. If your wife is still able to read cards, that might be nice, but, my LO never seemed to get much from that. I think it's a highly individual thing.

I even took my laptop and played videos from You tube of singers that I knew she used to love like The Osmonds, Carpenters, Beatles, etc., but, she didn't seem to enjoy them at all.  She wasn't able to focus.  That was disappointing, but, I do play things on the radio and for awhile the music seemed to appeal to her.  Now, I'm not so sure, but, I'm still trying to keep up with her favorite music. 
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