Mom was placed in memory care day before Thanksgiving. She is so combative and unmanageable they requested I pay for 1 on 1 care above and beyond their $8600 monthly fee. I suggested they refer her to a geriatric psych hospital to find correct meds to help her so she could then be placed. They changed their tune and told me let's wait on that. Her respite care is done Dec 24th. Trying to decide where to go from here? If I can't get them to refer her out, and she is too much to come home, I don't know any places that would take such a combative person. I am at a loss to know what to do.
Her sons rarely visited her. One of them lived out of town so he couldn’t visit often. The other son had a strained relationship because she did not like his wife. Sad situation because she did not have anyone in her family to be her advocate. Her husband, my godfather had died many years earlier.
I would question the horrendous bruises on my godmother. Their answer was, “Well, you know how she continues to fight us.” She was a tiny little woman but strong! The workers said that they were defending themselves. Who knows what was going on? My godmother did have a temper. She always did, long before her ALZ diagnosis.
Why can’t the social worker help you more on this matter? I have always had positive results with social workers in dealing with my dad, brother and mom. An evaluation would tell you needed information to move forward. What a shame this hasn’t been done.
What are the laws in your area regarding cameras? Here in New Orleans they are legal. Our governor passed a law stating that families can install them in the residents room. There are certain stipulations, of course such as the camera must only be pointed at your family member and not roommates.
Do you think looking at footage would give you more insight?
Have they considered different a dosage of her meds or different kinds of meds for her treatment? Can you do some research on your own and make suggestions?
I hope with all of my heart that you can find a viable solution.
Do they lose money if that happens? I think you may need to insist that they send her.
If she is still combative requesting a psych admission might be an option and once there discussion with the Social Worker might provide other options.
But if you can not care for her because she might harm you or herself you need to tell the director as well as the Social Worker that.