After surgery for broken hip, mom emerged with moderate cognitive impairment. She refuses physical therapy most of the time. During her rational moments, she understands she can't go home if she doesn't do physical therapy. Those times, she's agreeable but those times aren't enough. I just had a meeting with the director. After 6 weeks, Medicare will not give her an extension because she has not met the guideline for progress- which is sad because she is physically capable. The option presented- she needs to be moved into a nursing wing- where she will be a patient for life. I offered her a full time nursing staff at her own home "private pay". She became angry and told me absolutely not- its her home and she wants her privacy. She wants me to return her to her home and when I explained she isn't even capable of using the restroom by herself, she told me to get out and accused me of wanting her money. She's delusional and thinks I want to "throw her away". No amount of my pleading with her- to allow me to arrange for in-home care- worked. She became irrate and called me names, and started throwing things which confirmed what the staff had documented. She refuses meds and at time food. I spent everyday for 2 weeks with her thinking my presence would help and although I made some progress it wasn't enough. I am fortunate that her facilty is exceptional and they have worked with me but now the day is here- she thinks the facility has "brainwashed me too".
Anyone have a similar issue where 50% your parent is delusional and its during the rational times they think you are betraying them? Of course she can't remember when she thinks people are hiding under her bed, there are parties in the hallway with people smoking and drinking or the middle of the night phone calls demanding I come take her to the bathroom. My heart is breaking.