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My father is addicted to my addict brother. I recently discovered that my brother had been stealing nearly $1,500.00 a month from my dad along with his bank statements. We went to the bank and they urged him to add me to his account to manage things and he said no. We got one new debit card and 2 weeks later it was compromised again by my brother. The other problem now is that my brother is using his addict girlfriend to manipulate my dad into letting them have money and his vehicle. My dad is lonely and so he is falling for all of this not seeing what's really happening and thinking that this girl cares for him. She even went to the extent of getting a job where he works. If I try to bring it up to my dad he gets mad and takes the girlfriends side or my brothers side but 2 months ago his account was completely drained. I was able to move him out of the house they were living in but for how long? for years now my brother has kept my dad isolated from private contact with any family. Threatening him while were on the phone, etc. I am going to file a report with APS but I am scared that my dad will just push me away and lose everything by this manipulation. He is currently seeing a neurologist at my request as I was worried about his cognitive state. Any advice? I am his POA in case he is incapacitated but as of now he's not and I have no family support or help.

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We can only go by what posters state. And you stated that your father is not incapacitated, and in fact is still in paid employment. So while it is, quite rightly, illegal to take advantage of a vulnerable person, being elderly does not in itself make a person vulnerable and your description of your father didn't make him sound it, either.

In any case, I hope the authorities will be able to intervene successfully and the result will benefit your father. Please let us know how the case goes on.
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Countrymouse: it is actually illegal for someone to take advantage of an elderly person whether or not they willingly provide their credit card. DSS has already taken the case and it meets the criteria.
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If your dad is lonely, give him company. Tell him you are lonely and need his company. Take him out for a movie. Spend an evening with him without nagging him or complaining about what he is doing. Just hang out. Get him walking and talking. Upgrade his diet. Help him find a cleaning lady. Take him shopping for a new outfit. Go to a ballgame. Look at new cars on the weekend when the office is closed. Take him to a thrift store or a hardware store. Don't let the druggy girlfriend be his only company. Shift his focus and yours. You can't control your dad or your brother or his girlfriend. Perhaps he needs an antidepressant? What does the neurologist say? You mentioned you moved him out, where is dad living now? When you notice when one tact isn't working, switch to another. Don't keep harping on your brother's short comings. You dad already knows them. Come back and let us know how he's doing and how you are coping.
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Your father is not only not incapacitated but still working in paid employment, is that right? How old is he?

I'm really sorry to say this, but your brother is not even stealing from your dad - your dad is letting him take the money - so I just don't see what you can do about it. What are you expecting APS to do? What could you tell the police?

I suppose, if you know for a fact that your brother and the girlfriend are getting through substantial quantities of illegal drugs, you could ask the police to act on that. But a) it would have to be a seriously big deal for them to be interested; and b) presumably the reason your father keeps turning a blind eye is that he doesn't want your brother going down because of his drug abuse.

What about seeking advice from one of the narcotics support groups for families?
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designated123, I am moving your post to the top of the list, to see if there is anyone on-line who can help you with your request for advice.
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