Follow
Share

My aunt would wear the same clothing for a week if allowed to. She also hangs up soiled clothes. I go into her closet when she's not in her room and sniff her pants to make sure they're clean! My husband says, "I can't believe you do that!" Well, how else am I to know she has clean clothes in there! I spy on her all of the time, starting at 7 a.m. each morning to make sure she's okay and not up to no good...oh, and still breathing!!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Mom 94,advanced dementia see's no reason to change her clothes and obviously has lost her sense of smell.Taking her clothes away (eliminating dressers/closet ) would really upset her as she often spends time rearranging them sooooooo...I sneak in every night, take out the used and leave the clean.She hasn't noticed yet and for that I am thankful!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Come on now....you don't mean that.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I sincerely hope she is. That would solve a lot of problems.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You had better watch her....seriously, she may be eating them next.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

That's unfortunately typical of dementia patients. MIL has never been much for personal hygiene, but she's really let it slide in the past couple of years. The daughter of the guy she lives with called and told us that MIL was wearing the same clothes every day, and that maybe for Christmas we should give her a gift certificate from a clothing store in her town that she likes so she could buy some new things.

We got her the gift certificate, and MIL was thrilled. Except she didn't buy clothes, she bought an umbrella (she has at least a dozen umbrellas) a purse (she has dozens of purses, all of which she loses constantly and then a frantic search ensues) and a shawl that she refers to as either a coat or a pillow. (??? hello, aphasia!)

She says she doesn't like to run the washing machine because it "uses water" and that construction nearby has depleted the water table to an alarming extent, causing a water shortage. There was some road construction going on where she lives awhile back, but there's no water shortage. I checked.

It hasn't gotten to the point where she smells yet, but it will soon. Interestingly, she's always loved mothballs, and she scatters them around with great abandon, to the point that I can't spend five minutes in her pied-a-terre in the city, where she hardly ever goes, without feeling nauseous. She must have almost no sense of smell, because those things stink to high heaven.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Glad this is not just me! I have to get sneaky about making sure she puts on clean clothes or she will wear the same outfit indefinitely. At the end of the day, she hangs her old clothes up and hangs it on the door of her closet, then puts it back on the next day if nobody intervenes. I usually sneak in when she first gets up in the morning and remove her dirty clothes so she is forced to pick something else - it's worked out well so far.
As a silver lining, when her laundry is done, I sneak it back in her room and put the basket of clean clothes on her bed for her to deal with, and folding and hanging things gives her something to do for an hour! :)

It's the same thing with a lot of stuff, honestly... I need to get sneaky and hide lots of things or else she will just keep reusing it (or eating it, or drinking it...). Most recently, I had to hide her hairspray because she only has her hair washed once a week and she was applying hairspray 10-12 times a day. Her hair is getting visibly crusty after only a couple of days and she was going through a full can every 2 weeks or so. BLEH!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Yep, I get the, "There's no way I did that." look all of the time. And, we DO get used to this. In the beginning, I stressed at each turn, walking away shouting, "That f**ing disease!!" (Better to blame the disease, not the person, I know it's hard) Now, I just deal with the stuff as it comes and shrug it off, for the most part. I'm still dealing with my feelings. You'd think after 2 and a half years, I'd be cool as a cucumber, but it doesn't happen like that for me. I wish it did.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I understand about the dirty clothes. If I am not watching my husband after he takes a bath (which is not often) he will hang the dirty depends back in the closet. I don't stress over it. I just put them in a plastic bag and throw it in the garbage. As far as wearing the same clothes everyday. I hang out clean clothes where he can see them so after his bath he just puts them on. As for the teeth. I had to laugh because he put them in the garbage twice. The first time he said they were in the car so I did not argue I just let him look for them in the car. Then I realized he had thrown them in the garbage and I had to go dumpster diving (thank God the garbage truck had not picked up that day). I found the teeth after dumping all our garbage in the street and picking through it. When I handed them to him he just looked at me and said he did not do that. I guess I took them out of his mouth and thru them in the garbage.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Yep, no more clothes in her room. And, the doctor report is good - she just has a Vitamin D deficiency. So, she's on that plus a diuretic. No UTI, I was glad about that. Skinny Minny's in pretty good shape. Now, I have to deal with both of my parents (both 82) going down hill daily. Just got a report from my sister out in CA and the parents in AZ are "scaring" her. Says my Dad now uses the F word regularly. Holy smokes.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You guys!!!!!!!!!! whats with the butt sniffing? i dont need to bum sniff its in the "air" Ah the joys of a colostomy bag!!
Youre right DD i have to take more control and bag stuff of course ive said to brother as i need him to put stuff in attic but he dosnt want to lift a finger here as long as he runs the mower over the garden and thats it hes DONE!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Wearing the same clothes for days and forgetting to take meds are the two things that caused me to move mom from independent to assisted living. I think it was just easier for her the wear the same clothing than to pull something else out of the closet. Now the staff at AL takes the clothes she has worn out of her bedroom each evening when they give her the evening meds. She has a coat closet in her living room (which she can't remember is there), so they just put the dirty clothes in a bag in there, and I pick them up weekly to wash them. Since the dirty clothes are not available to her, she takes something from her closet to wear. Maybe you could go into your aunt's room after she goes to bed and remove the dirty clothes.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh, and PamS, just so you are aware, my husband is a National Certified Medical Assistant/Licensed Master Plumber. Now howabout that? He can take care of the elderly and fix their plumbing, too! So, let us not assume and make comments like, "Tell your husband to wake up and smell the coffee." And, to assandach7, I sure have walked secretly behind my aunt and sniffed her butt to see if she was a mess...it's a sorry state of affairs, isn't it?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Listen to me, Kazzaa, go through all of that sh*t and bag up the good stuff that she doesn't wear in one week and take it to the VA bin or Salvation Army. She will get over it in, oh, let me think, IN ABOUT A MINUTE!, hopefully! ; ) Remember, you are dealing with a child like attitude, where you are the Boss. Glad she found her teeth, sheeesh, I suppose I'm in for that some day soon...I have to remind auntie to even brush. Can you say, 'My tube of toothpaste lasts months and months?" Mercy. Clean her act up the way you want it and deal with the attitude. Maybe she will be intimidated. It won't kill her!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

oh kazzaa....bless your heart....bless your heart
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

DD i have decluttered this house so many times over the last 5yrs and went looney from her clothes! so i thought dont get mad get organised..........i organised all her clothes summer,winter etc hung them up in 2 spare rooms nice and neatly LOCKED the doors with keys and hid keys and now they are all back to chaos again. She went MAD last week and said its my house and i can get into my rooms if i want so i chucked the keys at her to calm her down and now theres clothes on the floor in both rooms and i just couldnt be bothered it makes me cry in frustration now so i will just get the cleaner to do it. Its so tiring just feel like its "groundhog day".
The rooms are full of dirty depends,clothes oh and HEY i found her teeth in there today!!!!!!! LOL she was thrilled! yeh im thrilled too!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It's very simple. If the dog wants to roll in her clothes, they need washing.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

oh kazzaa, live and learn with this disease, right?
When my aunt gets up early, which isn't very often anymore, she puts her day clothes on before I know she's up without changing her soiled Depends, then sits in her chair and gets those soiled. So, I took all of her clothes out of her closet and put them in the guest room where she never goes. This way, she's in her jammies until I bring her a fresh, clean outfit for the day. Tired of washing clothes unnecessarily. Of course, I can't help the times she gets up before we do and puts her pants and shirt on, then goes back to bed! Weird. She's been doing that a lot lately.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Yep, same here. My mother would wear the same thing 9 out of 10 days. She doesn't bathe and she doesn't wash clothes and keeps putting the dirty clothes back in the closet, pushing the new stuff to the back. I just take the dirty stuff and wash and iron it. In the meantime, she accuses the housekeeper for stealing her "good clothes".
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

PS am now using an anti-bacterial washing liquid and find this helps with smelly clothes i also wash mums clothes at 50degrees i know not kind to the enviroment but kinder to me!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh dear my mum dosnt hang up her dirty clothes she throws them under the kitchen table OR she will collect a pile and dump them into the nice clean fresh basket of CLEAN clothes so i have to wash them all again?
Yes one day i was sitting in the docs surgery and smelt pee i thought maybe some smelly person was in before me until i realised it was ME yes my top smelt of pee from mums basket! UGH! i now have to wash iron and do my clothes seperately and lock my bedroom so she cant get at them. I mean what a life!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Hey who hasn't sniffed a butt to see if they went #2...As Jeanne said gotta do what you gotta do! LOL
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Good girl. Then you pull them out and wash them. She can't put them on if they are in the wash. Tell your hubby to wake up and smell the coffee.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter