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The church community is taking legal action against myself for not properly caring for my mother. We have not heard from the attorney representing this case plus another personal case of my own. My mother and I are both very upset and unsure of what to do. It is very disconcerting and the town we live in is so small that we feel uncomfortable in our own home. We are considering moving, but that isn't an option due to my mother's health at the time. Any advice would be so helpful.

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not enough information here... weird, and something is not quite right...
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There are lots of unanswered questions here. So you received a DUI. This is not good, but doesn't qualify as being unfit to care for your Mom. What exactly are the charges that are being brought against you? Is your living situation a health hazard? Are you abusing your Mother? Is she being fed? I have never heard of a church suing a person for suspected abuse. The church is clearly following a cult leader and not the bible.

Are you financially responsible for your mom? Is her care too much for you to handle? Does she have medicaid? Have you looked into a NH or ALF?

It is okay to admit that you are over your head and can't solely be responsible for managing your Mother's growing health needs.
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I'm so sorry for your troubles. I know a DUI can happen to anyone because once you get to feeling good, no one thinks that clearly.

Even if you're not an alcoholic, can you go to AA or Al Anon meetings near you? It depends on the group. Some can be very mean, but other groups are very supportive. They are people who understand how life can push you to do things you shouldn't.
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It is a Baptist Church and I am not a member but my mom was when I moved here. They are keeping me separate from what they have done in regards to their choices and it is very disconcerting to my mom and myself. I feel it is illegal yet I am afraid to do anything, for because they tend to think they are more capable of making decisions for her. It is so upsetting and we are just trying to stay strong and keep each other comforted. Nancy H, thank you so much for your answer, I completely agree, but I have not been treated like that at all. And bobbie321 thank you for such passionate advise and wisdom. My mother's stepson actually came here to decide what would be the best care for my mom, and he is helping although it has been very difficult and stressful at the same time. I am hoping by the end of this next week things will have been a bit more resolved. Thank you so much everyone for your support, it has really helped me to feel not so alone. Much love to all of you.
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I'd like to know what "church" this is also, so I can steer clear of it!
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loveshermom, I am sorry to see this happen, it's a first for me to hear. What a genuine Christ centered church SHOULD have done, would be to go to you and see what they as a congregation could do to help. They as a body should have stepped up and filled whatever need you had in taking care of your mom. If the elders don't take that stance, then find a new church. They're not practicing what the Bible is saying, forget that stuff.
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What church are you referring to?
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I wanted to thank you all for your support and helpful advice. My mother's stepson came for a visit, "unannounced" but has been more helpful to us than I had imagined. The church does care about my mom, we just feel that things were handled inappropriately. I had recently been arrested for a DUI and they were accusing me of not properly caring for my mom for this mistake. I am not perfect and feel terrible about what has happened and I am grateful that there was a family member, although not related to me, that was able to come and help on our behalf. We are doing much better and are happier now. Thank you so much for all of your kind words.
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A "church" is taking legal action? Um, what is the denomination? This sounds REALLY off - more like a cult.

What exactly are the charges? What are your mother's health needs? Are you the full-time caregiver?

Very, very odd.
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I would be interested to know what they say you have done or not done.
loveshermom: you need to get back to us and explain further.
I'm visualizing a group like in the movie "The Village" : people living in the 19th century while the rest of the world has made it to the 21st century.
Bobbie, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, timewise. xo
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Wow...this is a first. What sort of cult...err...church is this???
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If you gave a litle more information as to how the church thinks they can take legal action would be helpful.
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What is this, the Middle Ages? Jeeze.

This is unacceptable.
Is the church after your mom's/your money?
Find a good atheist lawyer from out of town and fight back. I bet the ACLU will take this case just to make a statement to these nazis.

What is the other personal case about? Why is the church up in your business anyway?

I am a jaded person and I always think when I hear something as absolutely ridiculous as this is that there's money somewhere and someone else wants it so they will say whatever they have to to try and get it.
Of course, with a 'church' they get to hide behind the poison of their belief system and try to convince everyone that they are operating in your mom's 'best interest'.
BS.

Can you get Social Services/Adult Protective Services involved to come out and do an evaluation to put on the record that you are doing the right things by your mom?
They should be a county presence and maybe not so beholden to the 'church' as your small town.
Just a suggestion.

I am really hot right now on your behalf. Wish I could come out there and work out some of my own aggression issues.
Keep writing about this! I have never heard of anything so stupid as to put a mother and daughter through this hell. Godless.

Good luck,
lovbob
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Why does the church think you're not caring for your mom properly? And the entire church, as a whole, as a business, is accusing you of something or people from the church?
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