Mine was horrible. Worked really hard on dinner and all my mother ate was junk. And my bro and sis in law as expected, did not come over. I just want to cry
I am so sorry. It's Christmas here and I have so much to do. Alas, I am feeling so lazy that I just want to go back to bed and pull the covers up. I'll feel better after I get everything ready, I know. I'm glad it is family. They will help pull together order from chaos.
Valryn I'm sorry you had a lousy Christmas Eve. I used to knock myself out making mom her favorite foods from scratch. At her age and in her condition, she just doesn't have much of an appetite. It didn't matter to her whether the pie or dinner rolls were homemade or store-bought, she'd eat the same amount. And let that great food go to waste. So I stopped all of that extra work I had put on myself. So maybe relax and do what YOU want to do in future holidays? That's what I've learned for myself. Hugs...I hope you have a better Christmas.
This is my first Christmas without my mom; so even though yours was disappointing, you had your mother with you.
Blannie was right about our elders not eating or caring if it was from scratch or homemade. Do not make extra work for yourself, you already have your hands full.
If your brother and SIL did not bother to show up without giving you warning, I just would not bother inviting them again. I had to do that with my brother 30 years ago after we grew tired of his wife causing trouble. It made life much simpler.
Now is the time for you to start concentrating on what you want to do to make yourself happy while caring for your mother. Do not forget about your needs. Merry Christmas from someone who has walked in your shoes.
Valryn, you have some good comments here today and they are right about not inviting the ones again who didn't bother calling or letting you know they weren't showing up. People come and go thru your life all the time and I wouldn't worry about them. Fix something simple for your mother and you and just enjoy having your mom for another year. Mine passed away many years ago during surgery and it was a struggle to have a Christmas at all. She passed in September, usually the date you start decorating and it was a hard holiday to have except for my kids. You need to enjoy having her while you can because the emptiness can be lonely. And it's forever. So, take her out to dinner if you don't want to go thru all the trouble of cooking and cleaning. I'm sure the restaurants will be open after noon today and talk about old memories. I hope you have a great day.
I have a Grinch who steals any type of enjoyment out of any holidays. I can understand my sig other has lost loved ones throughout the decades but he doesn't understand that his loved ones wouldn't want to be looking down at him seeing him in such a sad mood. And he pulls everyone else down with him.
No matter what I do to make the holidays a bit brighter, nothing helps, so why do I even bother :( At least when my Dad opened up his gifts this Christmas morning we were getting smiles and "just what I wanted", and here my Mom had passed just 10 days ago. That is what Mom would have wanted.
Our family just deals with death differently, we celebrate my Mom's life [98] and we talk about her like she was still around. Lot of loses of family in both sides of the family, but my parents always made Christmas a fun day.
Maybe it is my sig other's culture being Italian or just his own family, the women wore black the rest of the their life after their husband passes and never remarry even if a widow at 28.... there are relatives he had that the only thing I know about them are the days before their death and how they suffered. My gosh, imagine going through your whole life of decades, work, getting married, having a family, etc. and all people can remember about you is the last 24 or 72 hours. Even sig other's grown daughter is doom and gloom around the holidays.
I'm sorry your evening was a disappointment Valrvn. I'm going all out today and cooking a big dinner for mom and I. I'll be really happy if she gets some pleasure out of it and the day feels special for her, but I'm really doing it for ME, so MY day feels different from every other day. It would be nice to have someone else at the table with us but then that's a bit of a trade off; I would have to cater to their needs and expectations as well and sometimes we need to be a little bit selfish.
Ah man, I hate Christmases from Hell. Maybe you could make tomorrow your REAL christmas.
So far so good here, but it's snowing and a fifty mile drive to take her home. I'm hoping the plows will be out. I was blocking out 24 hours for this and if it goes to longer, who knows what might happen? :-)
valryn - I am sorry it didn't turn out. I have found that I can't rely on others for my happiness - make an evening that is good for you. Sometimes when you have been caring for others for a long time it is hard to figure out what you want but it is something very worthwhile working on.
ff - very healthy to celebrate your mum - she had a long life and a short illness at the end and passed quietly - we could all hope for that. Glad that your dad is able to enjoy Christmas
Blannie was right about our elders not eating or caring if it was from scratch or homemade. Do not make extra work for yourself, you already have your hands full.
If your brother and SIL did not bother to show up without giving you warning, I just would not bother inviting them again. I had to do that with my brother 30 years ago after we grew tired of his wife causing trouble. It made life much simpler.
Now is the time for you to start concentrating on what you want to do to make yourself happy while caring for your mother. Do not forget about your needs. Merry Christmas from someone who has walked in your shoes.
No matter what I do to make the holidays a bit brighter, nothing helps, so why do I even bother :( At least when my Dad opened up his gifts this Christmas morning we were getting smiles and "just what I wanted", and here my Mom had passed just 10 days ago. That is what Mom would have wanted.
Our family just deals with death differently, we celebrate my Mom's life [98] and we talk about her like she was still around. Lot of loses of family in both sides of the family, but my parents always made Christmas a fun day.
Maybe it is my sig other's culture being Italian or just his own family, the women wore black the rest of the their life after their husband passes and never remarry even if a widow at 28.... there are relatives he had that the only thing I know about them are the days before their death and how they suffered. My gosh, imagine going through your whole life of decades, work, getting married, having a family, etc. and all people can remember about you is the last 24 or 72 hours. Even sig other's grown daughter is doom and gloom around the holidays.
So far so good here, but it's snowing and a fifty mile drive to take her home. I'm hoping the plows will be out. I was blocking out 24 hours for this and if it goes to longer, who knows what might happen? :-)
ff - very healthy to celebrate your mum - she had a long life and a short illness at the end and passed quietly - we could all hope for that. Glad that your dad is able to enjoy Christmas