Has anyone chosen a small residential board and care facility for parent with dementia needing care?

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My 93 year old mom has been in a big memory care facility for 7 months and is having a rough time with all the commotion and unchecked behavior of younger Alzheimer's residents.
While she's not bedridden she has had many falls and several compressed veterbrae
I don't want to move her to a nursing home but need to make a change away from from where she is as it is unsafe and what too expensive

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I was fortunate to find an AL place that converted the lowest level of the 3 floor building to memory care apartments. I had a choice of a two bedroom, one bedroom or an efficiency apartment for my two friends with dementia and memory issues. It was the only place with memory care apartments large enough for a husband and wife to live comfortably there together and it was crucial they stay together. They also provided excellent care and documented everything they did.
For a while the they participated in some of the group activities, but after the wife passed, the husband prefers to stay in his room and watch TV and read the daily paper, only leaving to walk to the dining room. He is happy with the new friends he has made there. It was a great relief to find a place with those space options and have quality care go with it. I check periodically with the health administrator and she updates me on my friend's needs and how things are going. I have health care power of attorney and also pay all his bills so I am involved in every aspect of his care, agreeing to it as need change and signing that I do. I am there two times a week usually, more if we have a doctor's appointment or something to go to. I am relieved that my friend always tells me how happy he is there and I have gotten to know and like some of the other residents, too, and we always have big smiles for each other. It's too bad more facilities don't offer this flexibility in apartment sizes for their memory care units. I was able to make their apartment look just like their bedroom and den in their condo with the same furniture arranged the same way. When they moved in, they were happy from the start, never once talking about "going home."
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Being her home with help. She'll get one on one care for less money. Most if all she'll be happy. Her her off that seraquel, its crazy stuff. If she needs anything ask dr for Depakote . She can have live in care or go to day care . I kept my mom 8 years with me, would do it again, as hard as it was.she was a great mother to me. I spoiled her. She was bedridden the last 5 + years. Its scary enough getting old but not being home is worse. Please think of whats best for her and what you would want if it were you. she wont live that much longer. Best wishes
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My mom is almost 93. She is in a memory care house with about 16 private rooms. It is set up like a house and is very good. She has been there almost 3 years. Before that she spent a month in a "state of the art" place, but it was just too big and confusing. The residents and staff are familiar to her in the smaller place.
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Sparklegirl, Mom is in one of their facilities. Not all residents have dementia but majority do. But, they r not equipted for skilled nursing.
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You might also look into the Greenhouse nursing home model. They set up homes for about 10 people, with individual rooms and common kitchen and dining, like a big family. But since they are a nursing home, if you are on medicaid, that will cover the cost (which medicaid won't for ALF). They exist in various states, I'm hoping more open up near me
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Oh my, that is costing a fortune!! My mother is in the private home care. Costing $4,000 a month for a private room, shared bath. 3 meals a day and snacks, they do the laundry, cleaning, showering and will even transport to appts, if necessary, dispense meds, give nebulizer treatments and will work with how she is feeling. There are two caregivers there during the day and one at night. She wears pads, which we supply and I get at Costco. I wish they did have more stimulating activities for them and some places do. A couple even had a hair dresser available. One was a bit nicer with a private bath but was going to be $4,500 a month. A good place to start for places and infirmation is A Place For Mom on the Internet. No charge. They can give you a list of places. I checked reviews on the Internet, licenses, etc. you want one that is State licensed. All in all, I still think this is the best place for my Mom but I do keep a vigilant eye.
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I managed three high end 6 patient RCFE's located in Southern California for about a year. Almost all of our residents had significant dementia. We had to CNA's during the day and one (hopefully awake) at night. I am a little amazed at some of the comments already posted that in smaller facilities there was less instance of one resident affecting another. I have to say that I think that what one sees as visiting member and what actually goes on, are two entirely different matters. Dementia is what it is, and people are affected by it irregardless of what size facility they find themselves in. Where we did excel, I think, was in our response. We stove to involve the residents doctor by almost immediately informing them of marked behavior changes. For the most part, physicians were responsive. Sometimes a resident was removed to the hospital for total reevaluation of their medications, and to have a professional determine if anything was in play psychologically. Night staff was expected to be particular vigilant to keep residents safe from unwanted intrusions during these difficult times. At the end of the day, there is no such thing as total safety for your loved one, unless you are willing to pay for one person to watch them 24/7, and literally follow them around. Even in the best of homes, staff is notoriously underpaid. Generally speaking, these lower paid care givers are a mixed bag of characteristics, they care, work hard, usually resent the owners for financially abusing them, but never take it out on the residents. If a better offer comes a long, they will jump at it, often with no notice. Turnover is high, and it was often difficult to find new workers, and really hard to retain the very best. Make no mistake about it, facility owners do collude with their local care giver business owners to keep wages low. As a manager I did what I could to give perks to great workers, but had to do it behind the owners backs. I quit the position after one year, when it became clear the owner knew I cared more about the well being of my workers, more than her profits. The residents well being all comes down to staff, family support, and a willing and responsive physician. Visit your facility often and unannounced, and if you know what to look for, you can gradually understand what is going on.
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I can tell you from experience that I have an 82 year old mother-in-law with advance stage alzheimers in a nursing facility. My mother, who is 84, has mid stage(s) alzheimers and lives at home. The grandmother of my husband had beginning stage alzheimers when she was 82 (her doctor told me I could not care for her 24/7 anymore). Three very separate cases. With the "right" nursing home that is made either as a family decision or individual is a BLESSING. There are good people that work in these facilities!!!! And, I am a nurse and have worked in many good nursing facilities. Good luck and let me know If I can be of assistance.
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My father just turned 98. He lived 7 years in a rather large assisted living facility near our house. Then his mild dementia got worse, and we couldn't afford the much higher rates at that facility's dementia care wing. We also knew he'd be cooped up inside all day, with people that might be worse off mentally than he is. So we moved him to a local 6-resident board and care home. He's doing fine there, been there for about a year and a half now. That said, there's not too much to do there besides watch tv in his (private) room and socialize with other residents and staff. (He's never been big on socializing.) There is a gal that comes in weekly to lead them in singing and small excercise games, which is good. All in all, he gets good care, the small staff knows all his quirks and habits, etc. We visit 2x a week. Sounds like your Mom might like the relative peace and quiet of a place like this. Do check a few before you pick one, though, so you get one that you won't have to move her out of for reasons of cleanliness, poor maintenance, etc. Do your homework. Good luck; I know it can be tough.
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MsMadge, can you mention your suburb or message me? I live south of L.A. I have only started looking at places. A couple were recommended to me but might be too far from you. Cannot you believe you have to hire services on top of services!
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