Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't the children naturally/normally take the initiative and care of their parents with nursing home details, etc?
One child (A) lives within 5 hours and the other (B) 1 hour. "A" does her dealings over the phone leaving it to the grandchildren to pull it off. "B" doesn't know what to do and leaves the grandchildren with decisions.
This burden has been weighing very heavily on the grandchildren as they don't know what to do and their parents aren't taking the load.
What are your thoughts?