My father-in-law could be at risk of being taken advantage of financially by two of his children (technically his step children though he raised them and has always considered them his children). These two want him to transfer money to them even though he is a community spouse whose wife is on medicaid in an Alzheimer's LTC setting.
These children are telling him they will put the transferred money in an account to be returned to him if he ever needs it. An attorney who helped with his wife's medicaid application process and wrote a letter concerning a recent appeal included a paragraph (for his children's benefit) of why my father-in-law should not consider transfers at this point. All transfers must be disclosed during his wife's medicaid redetermination and could cause further scrutiny. Plus a transfer could jeopardize future care options for my father-in-law in a 60 month look back should his care needs increase. This attorney also explained how these sort of verbal family arrangements can often go awry and leave the elderly person unprotected.
We had hoped this letter would quell the interest in Dad's money, but that had not been the case. These two children sought their own legal advice and say their attorney (whom they view as more qualified) thinks these transfers would be OK.
I handle all of my in-laws finances and advocate medically for both though I am not their POA. My husband is my father-in-law's only biological child. We want my father-in-law to keep all assets where they are for his use. We want to avoid scrutiny and trouble down the road. Neither of us want any part of transferring monies. We are the only ones involved with helping the folks while the others provide stress and negative opinions, but no real assistance.
We fear Dad could be convinced to make transfers to "save peace" with these two because he had always tried to compensate and make them feel he is not treating them differently since they are not his natural children.
My father-in-law is a Veteran with PTSD and a 100% disability. This is causing him a great deal of stress. We have informed his VA social worker who also works with him in a group setting of these family dynamics. She is trying to empower him to say NO because he has shared he really doesn't want to make any transfers. This is all SO unsettling.
If the other two are successful in receiving a transfer I will step out of managing finances and inform the state of my reasons and departure date. This might protect my husband and me but will not benefit my father- in-law as we fear the others will not act with integrity or be responsible with financial oversight.