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Mom lives with me and is pretty mobile but has Alzheimer's and cannot be trusted to eat or take medications. She is 87 and I would need some one to check in on her and make a meal or two for no more than a week at a time. I have some relatives and friends that can help so really need only a couple hours a day.


Need to find check in type care for parent while I am away for a week long trip. Money is an issue. Thanks.

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I also worry about this same thing when I need to take a little trip for few days. I don't stay gone a week, but I will still be making arrangements for my mom when I go away at spring break. She fell in bathroom about 3 weeks ago, and injured her leg. She is doing so much better, but this time I will have home care health to come in each day I'm gone, they have RN's, and also the CNA's who come in to help with bathing or light housekeeping, but mostly hands on with patient. Home care health is a great option if your mom is able to stay alone, but with the age you mentioned it would be good to get a trusted family member or close family friend to go ahead, and stay with her a few days. You get peace of mind, and mom feels re-assured that someone is there with her, but definitely go and have some fun too!! We caregivers don't have barely anytime to ever get away for a trip so you have to truly make it all it can be, and have some time for you!
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ramiller... every county in every state may have different criteria.... If you happen to live in Macomb county, for example, check into the MI-Choice program. Within that program there is something called Elderly or Senior Waiver program. Within that program, there are many options, including Our-of-Home Respite. They offer up to 30 days of Out-of-Home Respite per year to the caregiver.

There is no cost to those enrolled in the program. A support co-coordinator will go over everything with you to see what you may qualify for.

Call your local Area Agency on Aging to see what they offer.

Michigan was one of the first 15 states to offer paid compensation to family caregivers. The law has since been expanded to 49 states offering 4 different options to get paid.... and those states have at least one of the 4 options available.

These options include Medicaid Waiver, Non-Medicaid Programs, Veterans Directed and Community Based Services (the veteran is still eligible for Aid and Attendance pension benefits if they are getting it), and Programs for Life Insurance Policy Holders.

Each state has their own name for the paid caregiver programs, and they often make no sense, thus making them difficult to find. In Montana, it is called "Big Sky Bonanza" in Ohio, "PASSPORT"... which can be extremely confusing.

In Michigan, it also falls under the MI-Choice... so when you call, ask specifically about this program when calling you local Area Agency on Aging.

Hope this helps...
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If your Dad was a Vet check to see if there are any benefits that would help.
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If I was going out of town, I'd do respite care in a rehab facility (nursing home). He got very good care in the rehab facility.
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We hired an agency person for a few hours each day for companion care of my father when I couldn't be there and he was coming back from a stroke (I was still in town). She also did as little as possible. That was about 3 years ago and the price was $24/hr then with a 2 hour minimum daily and a certain minimum per week. I was looking for a housewife or cheerful person who could engage him and got a 18 year old girl who was more interested in her phone and book. Even worse, they couldn't guarantee he would be getting the same person every time and couldn't tell me when there would be a substitute. He was very confused about the whole thing. But at least someone was there if there was an emergency.
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In our area Alzheimer's and Dementia Alliance has a Caregiver Grant that can be used for respite. Contact them.
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Oops! Apologize for the repost. I had trouble posting the first one, and couldn't see it, and wanted to make sure you knew free help was available to you.
Good Luck!
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Hi Cass18,
Yes, there are services available to you for FREE to care for your mom while you are away. They take complete care of her, no matter how much or how little care she needs. Some states have a sliding scale, depending on what you/she can pay.
Contact your local Agency Area on Aging... and you will have to ASK for this program, as they don't readily volunteer it. In Michigan for example, you can obtain up to 2 weeks off at a time, twice a year (4 weeks total per year).

You are free to go on vacation... or anything you wish.
Go to the website www.n4a.org, and put in the informaton to contact your local agency. Ask for the Out-of-Home Respite ... (may be called different names in different states or counties),,,,

Hope this helps! Camille
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Camilles, can you be a bit more specific as to who "they" are that provide free respite care. I am in michigan and would love to know who is offering this. I have never heard of free respite this intrigues me. Thank you in advance for you input
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Thelmar, you should teally pozt that as a new question, and you'll get lots of answers.
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what if you are married to a man that refuses to have anyone care for him? he is obnixous, abusing, lies, insulting, etc. what do you do with person that is destroying your life?
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We used the local Comfort Keepers when my brother and sis-in-law (who live with, and take care of, Mom) had to be away for 10 days when I couldn't stay with her. They came highly recommended, although I have a mixed review of the person Mom ended up with. That is in part because my brother left the decision until the very last minute.

Comfort Keepers offers different options for care, ranging from 2 hrs/ day through live-in help. We had live-in help for Mom… cooking, keeping Mom clean and fed (this is where I had issues with the success… Mom went from 96# to 92#), keeping an eye on her, general company and safety. They first came into Mom's home to assess her situation in order to pair her with a caregiver. With a little more time my brother could have chosen between several caregivers that he could have interviewed. As he left it, the caregiver moved in the day before the two of them left, sight unseen before then! NOT my choice of how to do it, but I'm not "in the trenches" and they needed to get away.

I made two scheduled, and two surprise visits while they were gone. I wish I had put a security camera in place before the caregiver moved in. I don't think she mistreated Mom at ALL, but I wanted to see how they handled their time together without me being there. I suspect the caregiver did the bare minimum.

That being said… Mom ate. Mom took her medicine. Mom stayed safely home. Someone was there if she fell. Someone was there when someone came to the door. IT WAS WORTH IT, even if the caregiver was not exactly what I would have chosen.

Mom was very confused by this Jamaican stranger. We just told her that the caregiver was a relative of my sis-in-law that was staying with her at SIL's invitation. She accepted that… every time we had to tell her… every time she saw her again… Gotta love Alzheimer's!

Good luck.
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There are many FREE options available to you, and most caregivers don't know many of these options. For example, if you lived in Michigan, they allow up to 2 weeks away at a time, twice a year (4 weeks total). They will completely care for your loved one. There are other FREE options also available, if you needed someone for several hours during the week. Start with calling your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA). Go to their main website, www.n4a.org and you will be able to find your local AAA. Call them, and almost ALL states offer some kind of FREE vacation-type respite care. If you don't already know, the problem with government agencies, is they call things by different names in different states, making it often difficult to find what you're looking for. Hope this helps you! :)
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As others have said you mom seems like she would need much more supervision that you expect. With dementia you never know when she will do something unexpected like wonder off even if she never has before. Respite care is offered by many different agencies. Assisted living facilities, nursing homes, in home care agencies and Adult Foster Care Homes. Your local area agency on aging can help you locate resources. I have found Adult Family Care or Foster Care homes to be the most reasonably priced in our area but it may be different in your area. You can google respite care and you should come up with some options. I would not take mom with you, as I am sure you need a break and traveling with a dementia patient would probably not be relaxing. just don't leave her on her own to many unknowns and things could happen that many not only hurt her but put you at risk with APS for leaving her. That is just my opinion.
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I live in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area. Some places have respite care, not allot. If someone goes there for care and wants to leave, they have to let them leave. You always have to have someone available to pick the patient up, even in the middle of the night if they want to leave. My husband is 64 and has Parkinson's with Dementia and no one is interested in taking him. No good.
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As much as you need a vacation and want to "get away", I would suggest taking your mom along with you and also take a hired caregiver. That way, you can keep an eye on her. The cost would probably come out less than putting her in a facility temporarily that will frighten her, causing her to possibly escape to look for you. Just my opinion...
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I am caring for my mom with vascular dementia. I went on a 10 day trip to another state. I checked into home health care but it was very expensive. I received get respite care at an Assisted living near are home. It was a process that started about one month before my trip, but I had peace of mind. They gave my a daily rate based on her level of care. I left with peace of mind that my mom was being care for properly. I enjoyed myself and came back refreshed. I pray this helps. May God lead you to the right place.
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Contact your local Office of the Ageing. They should be able to help you.
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I think going to an assisted living facility that offers respite care is the best option when going on a trip. We offer it at the assisted living i work at but it is in michigan.
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When my husband and I went on our first vacation in 5 years I found a residential care facility that had a few openings. We worked our vacation around that. Some states have Respite Care Grants that you can apply for. Hope this helps, good luck and enjoy your trip.
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Most Assisted Living Facilities offer Respite Care. You would enjoy your time better as you would not have to worry if someone was there and what time they were coming. What if your friends had a family emergency who would help your Mom then? Bring someone new into the home that you have not used before now is a risky always use an agency ask for someone that has worked with a person with Alzheimer patient before. Do not use a friend of someone or a person who has an ad in the paper or online. Not Safe...
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Our county has an extensive program called "senior options." They offer 5 days of respite care at no cost. It's paid for by our property tax. The client stays at approved assisted living facilities in the area.
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You could call the Caregiving agencies to see that they have to offer. Now, with the agencies you could be paying around $20/hour for care.

Since your Mom has Alzheimer's and cannot be trusted to eat or take medications, sounds like she would need much more than a couple of hours a day of care. When someone is in their late 80's, falls start to happen. What if she falls at night and no one is scheduled to check on her until 8 in the morning? Or your Mom decides to go looking for you and wanders outside? Or is that where your relatives and friends help out by staying with Mom overnight?

Some Independent/Assistant living facilities offer temporary care, but your Mom would need to go to the facility, and the cost might be expensive, but you would know she is safe 24 hours a day.
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