My sibling wants to charge the estate 48,000/year, in addition to 4000 for food/rent. And my sibling has another job so my mom will often be by herself.
Is it the situation that you think 48large seems unreasonable? If so, I'd suggest you go to see at least 2 AL facilities and get a rate sheet from them as to what they charge and what is provided for that amount of money. 48K is about what AL would cost for a year in most places. Then tell Sissy that for her to get 48K she would need to provide for XYZ level of services for mom, otherwise you call could have mom move to AL and get all this plus the benefits of being in a community with all sorts of others to socialize with as well.
Really you need to be long term careful with mom's money. LTC costs are huge and can early run 6 figures for a NH. Mom would need a pretty significant asset base to spend freely now and have funds for the rest of her life. Really imho if they live long enough they will run out of money and family will run out of steam and Medicaidl will be applied for their NH care. All those funds paid to Sissy may come back as a transfer penalty against mom and if you are mom's DPOA and point person, well honey you will be the one to have to deal with all.
if mom has assets, really see and elder law attorney and they in turn will have a financial advisors they work with to set up something to perhaps make best use of mom's funds. Good luck.
Depending on the level of care your mother needs, your mother may benefit better in ALF facility. It also depends on your mother is willing and able to stay home alone. $48,000 plus $4000 per month food and rent equals $96,000 per year which is ridiculous expensive if I read your post correctly.
That was for shock value. If mom is going to be alone all day. She obviously can be in an assisted living facility. THERE, she won't be alone. There'll be programs, entertainment, socializing, etc. and It most certainly will NOT cost anywhere near that amount.
Wow.. my mom pays the cable (we had to add 2 TVs and she has it on all day) and the electric bill as our house is now sauna temperature, and donates for groceries and Costco... I must be doing something wrong...LOL I think this may be excessive . Just my opinion, but I work and don;t "need" her money. And she is rarely home alone unless she wants to stay home (no dementia). Hubs is around, and we love having here most of the time... Can I have your parents for that amount? No telling about siblings..
Really you need to be long term careful with mom's money. LTC costs are huge and can early run 6 figures for a NH. Mom would need a pretty significant asset base to spend freely now and have funds for the rest of her life. Really imho if they live long enough they will run out of money and family will run out of steam and Medicaidl will be applied for their NH care. All those funds paid to Sissy may come back as a transfer penalty against mom and if you are mom's DPOA and point person, well honey you will be the one to have to deal with all.
if mom has assets, really see and elder law attorney and they in turn will have a financial advisors they work with to set up something to perhaps make best use of mom's funds. Good luck.