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About my Aunt, She's 88 yrs old and lives alone in her own home. She's in the stage of dementia. As example, forgets my name at times, forgets the basic things of lifes tasks as what day it is, What yr it is. I can visit her on a Monday. Come Tuesday she forgets I seen her Monday. She also, Misplaces things. Her memory is becoming bad these days. To this this day she was "never" told by a doctor she's not compatent. So, legally wise she is able to do what she desires to do. She's not on Medicaid. She pays everything by writing checks. She is on Medicare as far as I know. Other then the simple memory tasks there's other basic tasks she has problems with. As example, Bathing her self, she task bird baths and not very well doing so. Wets the bed at times, Problems making it to the bathroom at times on time. Burnt frying pan from forgetting it on the stove. She uses a walker to get around. Can't do a thing without her walker .She does drive her car. I went for a ride with her the other day. She doesn't do so bad driving but, still scares me lol.
Relationship wise, My Aunt and I was never very close. I would call her up once a yr to say Merry x-mas. So, it was that type of relationship we had as a once a yr deal. I had no idea she got so bad. I learned a few months back that she needed help with things. My Cousin moved into our Aunt's home a few months back to be her caregiver. I thought our Aunt was ok because, my cousin moved in to help her. Then, I learned My Aunt was known by the Poice dept of making 911 calls. She made so many 911 calls that the police warned her if anymore calls are made adult social services will be contacted.
Where the Nightmare began,
I became concerned of my Aunt's care from my cousin's actions. Prior of my cousin coming to live with my Aunt. I haven't seen hied or hair from her in over 30 yrs. Last I heard she was homeless living in a storage unit in a another state.
So, I got concerned if she was just helping my Aunt for her money. The first thing I did was google searched her cell phone number. I found a news paper ad with her cell phone number attached to the ad selling cemetery plots.I learned they was my Aunt's plots she was selling. I asked my Aunt if she was selling them she replied to me "No". Then, I did more online searching and found our Aunt's house for sale with the cousin's cell number attached to the ad thru Remax. I asked my Aunt is she selling the house she stated "No".
There I had 2 red flags about my cousin's actions. After learning this my gut was telling me the cousin maybe selling items to pawn shops and such to obtain money. She had no Job.I decided to report all of this to adult social services asking for them to do a financial investagation? Adult social services told me they can't tell me any outcome. They did tell me to call the police to have a willness check done. So, I did.I never heard a responce about the willness check.
About a week goes by I get a call from my cousin stating she's in Jail for Battery towards my Aunt. Asking me to bail her out. I told her I don't have the money to do so. After I learned this, I went to see my Aunt. My Aunt told the cousin beat her up a few times. The cops took photos of the bruses she said. My cousin is family I was in deniel. I thought it could of just been my Aunt's dementia accussing the cousin of these things. I thought family don't do this to family this just can't be true so I thought.I called the detective incharged in the case. The detective told me, there is no dout the cousin beat her up fresh bruses was seen, photos was takin. I then learned the day prior of the cousin getting arrested. She had a appointment with my Aunt's attorney to get her Living Will changed and for her to be her POA. Luckly she was arrested before this was done. My Aunt told me she want's to fix her living Will. I took her to her attorney to do this. During that time her attorney told me he felt she needs a POA because, of her dementia is starting to take a toll on her. My Aunt made me her Durable POA and executor of her living Will. I am now her caregiver & Durable POA.I truned in the POA paperwork to her bank. I was told I now have full access to her accounts. I haven't asked for a bank statement yet to know her funds in her accounts.

Dealing with my Aunt with dementia comes with few good days and most all bad days. My Aunt can be mean to me at times and say hurtful things to me. I asked my Aunt what she wants to do ?She tells me she wants to live alone in her own home. I'm trying to grant her wishes. I visit her at her home 3-4 times a day. My wife help me take care of my Aunt as bathing her, cleaning the house all the time,bringing her meals so she don't have to cook for her self.And then some.It's a big job being a caregiver I must say. My wife does most of the work as her caregiver. My wife is not her POA I am.
With that said,
Can I write my wife out a check using my Aunt's funds for caregiver?
Example,Make a check out for CASH $100.00 with MEMO Caregiver?
How else can I?

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DB - I have prepared taxes for years and when I hear of someone asking questions about writing checks to CASH, it is inevitable to think that they are trying to hide the receipt of money. It was worth it to mention for others reading these posts even if that was not your intention.

I think that everything else I said still stands. It is wonderful that you have an immediate POA. You should be able to reimburse yourself for any out of pocket expenses, you just need to keep receipts and documentation. Receipts are a no brainer: prescriptions picked up, dry cleaning picked up, your aunt's personal supplies, grocery purchases, household cleaning & supplies, etc. The best way to document car expenses is to keep the mileage log: time, date, purpose of trip, beginning and ending mileage, difference by subtraction = aunt's total miles, and I like to write down as a notation the price per gallon of gasoline at around that time. You can determine by YOUR total miles, what percentage of your gasoline is used for your aunt, and reimburse yourself that reasonable cost of gasoline. Reimbursef expenses are NOT declarable income, but you must have proper documentation in case you are ever audited.

As far as a personal service agreement for your wife, you should be able to sign at as the DPOA. Your wifes function would likely be designated as a "companion-sitter", which is a special case of contract labor for the IRS not requiring withholding taxes, payment of the share of Social Security or paying into unemployment insurance. As I said in my previous post, this would be income for your wife and if she earned $600 or more in a year, you would its you her a 1099-MISC. Alternatively, you could hire your wife as an employee and take on all of the taxation and reporting requirements that it entails to do that, a bit of a major headache IMO.

As far as you being paid for her care, it is just my personal opinion at a bit of a guess, but I would consider you, as DPOA, signing a PSA to pay yourself, might be looked upon as a conflict of interest. If you decide that you want to be paid for caregiving, I believe someone else, such as the lawyer, should be aware of it and should be the one who enters into the agreement with you. Just my thoughts.

As for the PSA itself, here is only one link I found that gives some specific information about PSA's (there are probably many others):

http://www.gatewayct.edu/Offices-Departments/Administrative-Affairs/Financial-Affairs/Purchasing/Personal-Services-Agreement

I hope this helps you. Let me know.
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CarolLynn,
My DPOA is immediate.(Not a Springing POA) is what I'm told and what the POA states.This DPOA took effect when my Aunt signed it ,is what I was told.
My Aunt's desire is to live at home till she dies.It's my job to help fill her wishes .But,to do so requires a caregiver and a visiting nurce to her home.I'm not thinking about what I spent out of my pocket now.I'm thinking about down the road when it's time for the wife & I to move in with her to care for her full time.That time I think will be sooner then we think.I just want to get things set and ready to go for when that time does come.As I am her caregiver right now.I can't do all this for free much longer.If this is the case I may as well place her in a nurcing home now to be done with it.Just in gas cost it's costing me $50 a week out of my pocket.Not including my time or the wifes time.The worse the Aunt gets the more it cost me just in gas let alone other things.Sounds like I'm asking the wrong questions?
Should I be asking how can I get away with charging for my caregiver services?lol.
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First of all, is your DPOA immediate or is it contingent upon diagnosis of impairment? If it is immediate, it allows you to act on your aunt's behalf right away.

What you need is called a personal service agreement. You should be able to sign the agreement between your wife and your aunt that specifies your wife's duties and her reasonable hourly wage, just the same as if you hired an outside caregiver. Even Medicaid accepts proof of such payment as something spend on the principle's behalf. You should keep track of other expenses you pay for separately, for example: mileage (gas money, again reasonable), market receipts, prescription receipts, household and personal supply purchases, etc. A separate check should be written for expenses. The reason for that is because there is a difference between reimbursed expenses and money earned for the caregiving, which is reportable income.

I have a queasy feeling when you asked the question, can I write the check for CASH and put caregiving in the memo? that you think you can hide the income and pay your wife "under the table". Don't even think about doing that. On top of it being completely illegal, if your aunt reaches a point where her fun no longer cover her care, and she has to go on Medicaid (this is more likely than you think, the way you described your situation), they have a five-year look back into her records to see if her money was spent on her care. The way that federal and state computers are more interactive in most people understand today, means that a time such as the look back could trigger an IRS audit and charges of fraud for intentionally not reporting income. Be VERY careful!
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BE CAREFUL!! When my MIL came home from NH she had dementia that we told everyone it should go away as time healed her and told her that many times per day. I had her POA and at her request would go get $$ for her, it wasn't until I heard her tell someone on phone that I was taking $ from her bank that my husband and I started requiring signed requests from her to remind her and back us up if needed. She took medicine that caused big purple looking places on her skin and she was telling her "church" family that I was being physically violent to her which is ridiculous because I love her and have never raised a hand to anyone in my life. They starting listening to her stories and I thank the Lord that I was out of state when she made last two claims. Many 911 calls that were to "have someone to talk to"..... all the while I was inviting her friends out and she was calling them to say I was keeping her prisoner and they'd better not come over to visit.
Now she is a bit better and remembers none of it....but the people she told still do remember.
I am thankful we have signed requests for things as silly as picking up her RXs...because her truth was very different than reality.
What we've learned:
Think about how a judge will feel about the legality of what you are doing. Get an objective 3rd party to help. If person doesn't have a contractual agreement, the education and training for this job.....don't pay that family member, it will have to be accounted for one day by family, the courts and maybe even by the IRS.
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You have a cousin who has already tried to sell the home without your aunt's knowledge. This same cousin may decide to take you to court some day wanting an accounting of how you spent the aunts money. Always cover your butt....make sure you have paper work in standing order and that everything is legal. I still think it is best to talk with the attorney before doing this. I am not saying that paying your wife is illegal, I just think when you have family members who may cause problems, it is best to make sure that what you do, can't be considered as abuse of your power as DPOA. I hope that makes sense..
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No loopholes and a big red flag if the POA diverts funds to himself or his wife. If she has to go in a nursing home, Medicaid will assess a penalty for every penny she gives you. Talk with her MD about getting her in home care through the VNA (visiting nurse's association), or get her into a nursing home.
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I just got done 2 weeks ago getting her Living Will inorder with her attorney.I had no idea I should of asked then at that time.There's no instruction manual given to me for this job to know I should of asked.Taking the Aunt back to her attorney isn't a simple task.Her Will is complete now.Her dementia is so bad the attorney may not change a thing now.So,taking the Aunt back to her attorney to change her Will again is out of the question I feel.Even tho her demntia is bad.I haven't tooken her to her doctor to be incompatent.So,as of right now she is legally compatent to do what she wants.I'm holding off on taking her to the doctor for incompatent because,I need to learn what all I need to be doing before I do that.I would hate to do that now and learn later I should of done other things before that trip to the doctor for being incompatent.Once a person is incompatent nothing else can be done or changed.
I am her Durable POA.Can I write a check from my Aunt's bank account to my Wife to pay her for my services without seeking a attorney to do so?There's got to be some loop holes in this to do this?I'm sure there's people in my shoes writing checks to them self and getting away with it.It takes knowing the right tricks and such I guess.I guess know one will explain the underworld of this lol.
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Cont,
I understand the duties of a POA.As I'm not allowed to charge my Aunt for POA services.
But, I'm also, my Aunt's Caregiver too. Let me rephrase that, The Wife and I are her caregivers. We do everything as a caregiver does. Bath her, do her shopping, cash her checks .You name it we do it. But, we don't get paid to be her caregiver.
We found that being her caregiver is causing us problems money wise and time wise. From the cost in gas making many trips a week to care for her to taking off work to take care of her. As well as taking time out of our lives taking care of her missing out on our own kids & Time.
As I am my Aunt's Durable POA. I'm the one that has to hire a caregiver or a visiting nurce when it's time. When that time comes I will be the person making out the checks to pay the nurce & caregiver as paying the bills. And keeping track of all spending in my records to cover my butt so to speak.
Can I pay my self from my Aunt's funds for my Caregiver services?
As example,make a check out for CASH,write in MEMO Caregiver?
If not,
Can I write a check out to my Wife using my Aunt's funds to do so?
How else,can I get paid or reinburst for my loss in cost out of my pocket?
My wifes deservse to be paid something for doing what she does for my Aunt.
We must do this for free without charge? This isn't fare to us.At the beginning I thought no problem taking care of my Aunt. A simple task. I learned the hard way it is not so easy to do is why my Wife helps me .
We had no idea the cost that will come out of our pockets to do this job. And the pain making trips to her bank to cash her personal checks she wants cashed for her spending money. The shopping for her each week to more things. How can the wife and I get reinburst for our loss in cost? I know of a lady taking care of her Mother. Her Mother lives with her in the lady's home. The lady is her caregiver. She charges her own Mother $800 a month for her caregiver services. And she is also, her Mother's POA at that.I understand this isn't my Mother. It's my Aunt I'm taking care of.Can I pay my wife out of my Aunt's funds as caregiver? I'm not asking $800 a month. I'm asking for $100 a month is all for gas and her time as caregiver. By rights I should be asking much much more money for doing this job. But, I'm not greedy as most are.I'm saving my Aunt tons of money helping her. Caregivers charge $200 plus a week for their services if not more I haven't looked into it yet. I need advice on what I can do legally to be reinburst for our cost?
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To make sure everything is legal, I would go back to your aunt's attorney to discuss this with your aunt present. It can be included as part of the living will.
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