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Mom lives with me now, and my brother "decided" on the amount of money he sends me for her support. (about one fifth of her monthly SS and other income!) I suppose he can do that legally because he's the POA. But now mom wants things changed because of his deviousness. I've already been to an attorney several weeks ago, and he's done nothing! Should I find a different lawyer? My brother and I don't get along at all - as the executor of her estate is he able to change her will? He's angry with me and keeps saying things like "payback". Is there anything I can do? It feels like he's got everything sewed up! I think he's pocketing all the rest of her monthly income, but there's no "watchdog"! How could this scenario be possible? It's a travesty.

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Take your mom to a neurologist for an evaluation. Tell the neurologist what is going on and request that he/she evaluate your moms competency to turn over POA to you or whomever she wants. That way, assuming the answer is 'yes', you have a medical practitioner on your side.
Good luck to you. Been through the greedy relative thing... it ain't pretty.
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Rosebud58- How competent is your mother? Is she able to sign documents legally? That would dictate if she can legally change her POA designee. Ask her doctor what stage he feels she is in, then act accordingly. If she is still competent, then by all means, go to any attorney and have a new POA appointed. As for family members who lash out at others trying to help their parent(s), they will get "paid back" in the end. God bless...
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It is absolutely astonishing how often this is happening and all due to greed.
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While it's not necessary to take this to the original lawyer that put together the POA, it might help make the process easier, since that one has records of the first one, and may even remember Mom..
You said she has dementia?
Has she been declared incompetent to make decisions, by a Doctor?
Even then, there are ways to get it changed.
==Particularly if the current POA is misusing her SSI check income.
==Particularly since you are providing more than half her care?
[housing, meals, transportation, clothing, supplies, etc.?? costs that are half or more of what brother sends? ]
==You are keeping a record of her behaviors, lucidity, daily events?
==You are keeping records of money you spend on her health, welfare, upkeep?
GOOD!
Now, your brother needs to cough up records of what he is doing with the rest of her income?
It's not his to keep. It's Mom's.
He can manage it, but not use it--withholding it, or using it for himself, is wrong...if Mom has needs not being met because he is keeping hold of her money, he is not acting in her best interests; if OTH, he has been putting it into an account to gain interest, so it lasts longer for her long-term care, that might be different..

Social Security really dislikes when someone takes money from those receiving SSI or SSDI. That might be considered defrauding the government, and/or theft from a fragile elder--elder financial abuse?

You need help.
Talk with Social Security Admin, in person--at that office closest to you.
Bring what records you have for finances.
Bring Mom, if you can, so she is there to tell them you are OK to interact with them on her behalf--that can be written into her SSA records, for future reference--and it can be done without a POA.
BTW--IF she is able to get a new POA written up by any lawyer, she can
...and it will automatically supersede the older one naming brother-
---but he might try to contest that, on grounds of Mom's dementia-
--so IF Mom has NOT been legally declared incompetent yet, NOW is your window of opportunity.
He could still try to contest that, because of the diagnosis, & possibly could win--but you still have a trump card:
IF he pushed that, you could simply tell the judge to put the POA into the State's hands...have a 3rd party POA manage Mom's finances.
Those are legally bound to do it right, and, I believe, are Bonded, so if they screw up, there is some recompense. With your Brother taking the lion's share, there's no recompense--he's probly already spent it.

Start with SSA office, then go from there...you will likely need a lawyer, one way or another. You will need records of her finances--proofs from the SSA what Mom's checks have been, vs. how much brother has sent you for Mom's upkeep.
Also, bring bills you have paid, receipts, etc., showing how much Mom living with you costs.
Also, bring some comparable costs of keeping Mom in a facility.
That usually shows how much you COULD be charging her estate to pay for her being under your roof!!

Please keep us posted!
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I went thru a Facebook page "Find Help For Consumers" to get a list of lawyers I could contact in the home state. You may want to try the same thing. Let them know the situation, and they will send you a list, via Facebook, for the state you need the lawyer in, Ohio in your case. Your NC lawyer can't help since he is not licensed in OH. I DID find me an HONEST, lawyer in the state I needed who promised not to nickel-and-dime me to death. I had to go thru several on the list before I found one to help. I wish you luck as my Dad's POA is also devious and that's why she dumped my Dad's original lawyer who knows the POA is up to something too, especially since asking for all of the fiduciary records for every penny she spent of my Dad's money. All legatees have the right to those records and the POA MUST PRODUCE THEM!
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NO ONE can make changes to the will, only the originator of it. I'm dealing with the same type of situation right now. I live out of state, but found me a decent lawyer who's working to help me. Dad's granddaughter, POA, got a different lawyer even before Dad died, although he loved his original lawyer. POA didn't even have courtesy to call her to let her know Dad died, or that she got different lawyer. Since Dad's gone, I don't know how to get a different Executor. But I DO KNOW that my Dad was adamant about the property be sold and distributed equally between the 3 daughters. Good luck to you!
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If everything is in a trust, in Colorado there are reporting requirements to all beneficiaries. Your mother, if competent can change the trust as well, if it is also hers. Find a litigator specializing in elder law asap.
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Thanks so much to all who have helped me try to answer this dilemma! I realized today though that there's another whole part to it, that makes it seem so much more complicated! As mentioned previously she also named him as executor of her estate, which actually does include quite a few assets from my deceased step-ther, including land, buildings, and stocks. Most of it appears to be in some kind of trust form ~ I'm not sure of the details because of Mr. DeviousBrother who would clearly love to keep me in the dark on everything. He has not sent me one piece of paper, or anything with regard to this. So I guess my other question is, can the executor be changed (in court?) (by my mother of course), and then would all the previous comments pertaining to my first question apply to that, as far as her mental competency? I have a feeling he's going to try and 'punish' me for my assertiveness (and calling him on his deviousness!), by being able to change something in the distribution of the trust fund that my step father left us, because HE's the executor of the estate. When I was up there at his house trying to help things I found the list he made of "mom's debts" as of 3/2013, (surreptitiously, of course) and the first item on "his" list of her (supposed) debts is: $ 20,000, due to him (my brother) for work he supposedly did for my mom in 1990! (while he was getting free room and board!) I don't think the rest of the debts (back IRS taxes and penalties, back property taxes, etc.) are being paid with her monthly income that he has control over because he's POA, because he knows that the debts will be subtracted from any assets, once my mom passes. It seems that he's just letting the penalties continue building for that reason, while being able to point to "20,000 owed to me" as one of her "valid" debts, thereby absolving him of any wrong doing as POA with her current monthly income!
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I should add, the original executor of a POA should be able to revoke it in writing even if she/he does not have a copy of it. But if you do have a copy (or can get one), it might be useful to see exactly what powers were given to your brother. Your mother could request that your brother send her a copy of the original POA (again, I'd make such a request via certified/registered mail).
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I don't believe that the original lawyer needs to be involved at all in the revocation of a POA. I would take my parent immediately to a new lawyer to draft a new POA. POAs generally contain language that specifies they can be revoked "in writing" at any time by the original executor. If you have a copy of the original POA, you can see specifically what language it uses to this effect.

I assume the new POA would contain language revoking all previous POAs (and specifically referring to the one dated x/x/xx and naming So-and-So as the acting agent). I would send a copy of the new POA via registered, certified mail to your brother and to the lawyer who created/notarized the original POA. It is important also to update any banks or other institutions that have the old POA on file.

Yes, if you've contacted an attorney who has done nothing, I would find a different attorney. Time if of the essence here, not just because of what your brother is doing "with authority" but because of your mother's shrinking window of competency.

If your mother is capable of doing so, I would suggest asking her to write a statement explaining why she wants to revoke the existing POA, and I would get that statement notarized along with the new POA. She may be able to do this now but not later, is the thing, and if legal action comes up down the road, it might help to show that she was "of sound mind" and had good reasons for revoking the POA when she did it.
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Get a lawyer before your mom Is obviously not able to protest how the POA is being handled!! Since she is with YOU, It should be easier.
I have been so blessed that my mom WANTS me to take care of EVERYTHING,!
Which puts me on an almost daily schedule of catering to her needs. No siblings, only my spouse to help. If I miss one day she says " I haven't seen you in two weeks". (I call it her "pity me mode")
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The person who receives the money has to file annual reports with the surrogate's court. Get a copy. Petition the court to be appointed her Legal Guardian and Representative Payee.
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Hello Rosebud58, Definitely get rid of the lawyer. While Mom has her senses, you can do a brand new POA and get Mom's signature. Contact Legal Services for Seniors as well. Trust me there are relatives that try to take advantage of the situation, but you can stop this. Get the new lawyer to file a letter ASAP with the previous one to cease ALL movements, as the POA is being changed.

Good Luck.
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OMG! I'd swear that I'm the person who wrote rosebud58's post! My brother moved in with my 89 year old mom when my 94 year old dad died a year ago. Her SS check covers bare minimum, so I pay about a grand a month so she is comfortable. My loser felon brother is living with mom now for free, but I didn't mind since he helps my mom when she needs it. But he discovered that he can withdraw money from her bank account, and now he's stolen all of her savings. I plan on filing charges of elder abuse with the Calif. Dept. of Social Services. What he's doing is illegal. Sadly, I live in Florida. My mom and brother are in California. It's kind of tough to put my foot down when I'm this far away. As for the POA, I have one for my mom, with my brother's name on it, as well. If your mom wants to draw up another one, that can easily be done with just your name on it. The most current POA is the one that is honored. I'm thinking of doing the same thing.
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It must not appear as coercion by you, that could lead to all sorts of other legal issues for you. This must be done of her own accord. If you even in the slightest was anticipate a court battle over this make sure you retain an attorney that will also litigate. So many attorneys practice preparation of documents but if a family battle ensues they will send you to another that will provide litigation services. Then you will face the expense of educating the litigator on all aspects of the case.
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If your mom is saying she wants to change the POA, then it sounds like she still has some faculties left to know what's going on with your brother. In the age of faxes and emails, I would still contact the original lawyer in Ohio and send him paperwork to revoke the POA. If he is unwilling or unable to due to your mom's relocation, ask him to refer you to a qualified lawyer in NC and skip the one you chose. Sounds like he's lazy and uninterested in his job. But your mom can revoke the POA for any reason as long as she is of sound mind to do it. But get it done asap. sounds like your brother could be doing stuff that you don't know about and will only find out after your mom passes which could be some years from now and lots of damage done. Wish you well.
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Here's Ohio Code on Revocation
1337.14 Revocation.

(A) A principal who creates a valid durable power of attorney for health care may revoke that instrument or the designation of the attorney in fact under it.

The principal may so revoke at any time and in any manner. The revocation shall be effective when the principal expresses an intention to so revoke, except that, if the principal made the principal's attending physician aware of the durable power of attorney for health care, the revocation shall be effective upon its communication to the attending physician by the principal , a witness to the revocation, or other health care personnel to whom the revocation is communicated by such a witness. Absent actual knowledge to the contrary, the attending physician of the principal and other health care personnel who are informed of the revocation of a durable power of attorney for health care by an alleged witness may rely on the information and act in accordance with the revocation.

(B) Upon the communication as described in division (A) of this section to the attending physician of a principal of the fact that the principal's durable power of attorney for health care has been revoked, the attending physician or other health care personnel acting under the direction of the attending physician shall make the fact a part of the principal's medical record.

(C) Unless the instrument provides otherwise, a valid durable power of attorney for health care revokes a prior, valid durable power of attorney for health care.

(D) Regardless of when the declaration is drafted, the execution of a declaration for mental health treatment does not revoke a valid durable power of attorney for health care. A declaration for mental health treatment executed in accordance with Chapter 2135. of the Revised Code supersedes a valid durable power of attorney for health care with regard to mental health treatment and the designation of a proxy to make decisions regarding mental health treatment.

Effective Date: 10-29-2003
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Yes. I agree with "angelwhyspers". I spoke with an Elder Care Attorney, and he clearly stated that in my mothers current state of dementia/alzheimers, she can no longer (legally) sign any further papers. Not completely certain though, what happens in a case, such as yours. These POA forms are not all that great, as one would think. Good luck!
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Your mom maybe felt obligated to place him as her POA since she was living with him and felt that she needed to get things in order or he convinced her. The real question here is going to be the state of your mother's mind. This is going to be the biggest arguement if it ends up in court. Unless you can prove any type of wrong doing on his part with her finances. I agree that you should contact an elder care attorney as they would better know how to handle this sort of thing. He would have to prove that her other income is being used appropriately, such as up keep of the estate, billing credits, or banked for future care. Best of luck with this.
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Get an elder care attorney ASAP, don't waste any time, the tricky thing is even if your mom has some dementia, is she still able to conduct your own affairs, understand financial problems and make reasonable decisions about her finances and her health care. If the answer is No, you will probably have to go to court for a conservatorship because no attorney should let her sign papers in that condition and even if they were signed your brother could contest it. If your mother is competent enough to sign, she may be NOW, but not be in 2 months. This is why you must hurry. You maybe put in a position where you may have to contest your brothers POA. Document everything threatening, devious, or vindictive that your brother has said to you, with approximate date if you can remember. You might need those in court to make your complaint that your brother is not acting in your mother's best interest and rather is acting out of some misplaced animosity toward you. You should at least call the attorney you contacted and ask if there's a reason for the delay. If he hedges, find someone else right away.
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Strictly speaking POA may not even be in effect if the person can direct their own affairs - can Mom take control over her own accounts and fill out change of address forms, get her SSI check sent elsewhere?
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POAs can be removed for failing to live up to their responsibility, or the person naming the POA can change it with a new document if they are still judged to be competent, or at least obviously not incompentent to do so. You should involve an eldercare attorney who can review the actual documents and familiarize with the law in both states.
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Thanks for the answer I received - the only complication is the fact that all the legal documents were filed in Ohio - I "rescued" my mom from my brother's horrendous house in Loveland Ohio, and now she lives with me in North Carolina. So going back to the original attorney is kind of out of the question. (an 8 hr. drive, each way!) Plus, I thought my own research showed that the POA can legally oppose the attempt to have things changed, and have it litigated. Maybe that's state by state? I've already gone to an atty. here in NC but he doesn't know about Ohio law, so there's more research to be done. He hasn't helped much yet. Why do these people take forever to do anything?
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Yes, the POA can be revoked from your brother with an authorized signature from your Mom. Take your Mom to the original attorney who did the POA paperwork and request a change. You will have to notify all parties of the change, including your brother, banks, etc...).

Payback time it is.

Tell us what happens.
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