Mom with dementia made the mistake of naming my devious brother POA AND executor! She wants it changed now, is that possible?

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Mom lives with me now, and my brother "decided" on the amount of money he sends me for her support. (about one fifth of her monthly SS and other income!) I suppose he can do that legally because he's the POA. But now mom wants things changed because of his deviousness. I've already been to an attorney several weeks ago, and he's done nothing! Should I find a different lawyer? My brother and I don't get along at all - as the executor of her estate is he able to change her will? He's angry with me and keeps saying things like "payback". Is there anything I can do? It feels like he's got everything sewed up! I think he's pocketing all the rest of her monthly income, but there's no "watchdog"! How could this scenario be possible? It's a travesty.

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Take your mom to a neurologist for an evaluation. Tell the neurologist what is going on and request that he/she evaluate your moms competency to turn over POA to you or whomever she wants. That way, assuming the answer is 'yes', you have a medical practitioner on your side.
Good luck to you. Been through the greedy relative thing... it ain't pretty.
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Rosebud58- How competent is your mother? Is she able to sign documents legally? That would dictate if she can legally change her POA designee. Ask her doctor what stage he feels she is in, then act accordingly. If she is still competent, then by all means, go to any attorney and have a new POA appointed. As for family members who lash out at others trying to help their parent(s), they will get "paid back" in the end. God bless...
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It is absolutely astonishing how often this is happening and all due to greed.
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While it's not necessary to take this to the original lawyer that put together the POA, it might help make the process easier, since that one has records of the first one, and may even remember Mom..
You said she has dementia?
Has she been declared incompetent to make decisions, by a Doctor?
Even then, there are ways to get it changed.
==Particularly if the current POA is misusing her SSI check income.
==Particularly since you are providing more than half her care?
[housing, meals, transportation, clothing, supplies, etc.?? costs that are half or more of what brother sends? ]
==You are keeping a record of her behaviors, lucidity, daily events?
==You are keeping records of money you spend on her health, welfare, upkeep?
GOOD!
Now, your brother needs to cough up records of what he is doing with the rest of her income?
It's not his to keep. It's Mom's.
He can manage it, but not use it--withholding it, or using it for himself, is wrong...if Mom has needs not being met because he is keeping hold of her money, he is not acting in her best interests; if OTH, he has been putting it into an account to gain interest, so it lasts longer for her long-term care, that might be different..

Social Security really dislikes when someone takes money from those receiving SSI or SSDI. That might be considered defrauding the government, and/or theft from a fragile elder--elder financial abuse?

You need help.
Talk with Social Security Admin, in person--at that office closest to you.
Bring what records you have for finances.
Bring Mom, if you can, so she is there to tell them you are OK to interact with them on her behalf--that can be written into her SSA records, for future reference--and it can be done without a POA.
BTW--IF she is able to get a new POA written up by any lawyer, she can
...and it will automatically supersede the older one naming brother-
---but he might try to contest that, on grounds of Mom's dementia-
--so IF Mom has NOT been legally declared incompetent yet, NOW is your window of opportunity.
He could still try to contest that, because of the diagnosis, & possibly could win--but you still have a trump card:
IF he pushed that, you could simply tell the judge to put the POA into the State's hands...have a 3rd party POA manage Mom's finances.
Those are legally bound to do it right, and, I believe, are Bonded, so if they screw up, there is some recompense. With your Brother taking the lion's share, there's no recompense--he's probly already spent it.

Start with SSA office, then go from there...you will likely need a lawyer, one way or another. You will need records of her finances--proofs from the SSA what Mom's checks have been, vs. how much brother has sent you for Mom's upkeep.
Also, bring bills you have paid, receipts, etc., showing how much Mom living with you costs.
Also, bring some comparable costs of keeping Mom in a facility.
That usually shows how much you COULD be charging her estate to pay for her being under your roof!!

Please keep us posted!
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I went thru a Facebook page "Find Help For Consumers" to get a list of lawyers I could contact in the home state. You may want to try the same thing. Let them know the situation, and they will send you a list, via Facebook, for the state you need the lawyer in, Ohio in your case. Your NC lawyer can't help since he is not licensed in OH. I DID find me an HONEST, lawyer in the state I needed who promised not to nickel-and-dime me to death. I had to go thru several on the list before I found one to help. I wish you luck as my Dad's POA is also devious and that's why she dumped my Dad's original lawyer who knows the POA is up to something too, especially since asking for all of the fiduciary records for every penny she spent of my Dad's money. All legatees have the right to those records and the POA MUST PRODUCE THEM!
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NO ONE can make changes to the will, only the originator of it. I'm dealing with the same type of situation right now. I live out of state, but found me a decent lawyer who's working to help me. Dad's granddaughter, POA, got a different lawyer even before Dad died, although he loved his original lawyer. POA didn't even have courtesy to call her to let her know Dad died, or that she got different lawyer. Since Dad's gone, I don't know how to get a different Executor. But I DO KNOW that my Dad was adamant about the property be sold and distributed equally between the 3 daughters. Good luck to you!
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If everything is in a trust, in Colorado there are reporting requirements to all beneficiaries. Your mother, if competent can change the trust as well, if it is also hers. Find a litigator specializing in elder law asap.
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Thanks so much to all who have helped me try to answer this dilemma! I realized today though that there's another whole part to it, that makes it seem so much more complicated! As mentioned previously she also named him as executor of her estate, which actually does include quite a few assets from my deceased step-ther, including land, buildings, and stocks. Most of it appears to be in some kind of trust form ~ I'm not sure of the details because of Mr. DeviousBrother who would clearly love to keep me in the dark on everything. He has not sent me one piece of paper, or anything with regard to this. So I guess my other question is, can the executor be changed (in court?) (by my mother of course), and then would all the previous comments pertaining to my first question apply to that, as far as her mental competency? I have a feeling he's going to try and 'punish' me for my assertiveness (and calling him on his deviousness!), by being able to change something in the distribution of the trust fund that my step father left us, because HE's the executor of the estate. When I was up there at his house trying to help things I found the list he made of "mom's debts" as of 3/2013, (surreptitiously, of course) and the first item on "his" list of her (supposed) debts is: $ 20,000, due to him (my brother) for work he supposedly did for my mom in 1990! (while he was getting free room and board!) I don't think the rest of the debts (back IRS taxes and penalties, back property taxes, etc.) are being paid with her monthly income that he has control over because he's POA, because he knows that the debts will be subtracted from any assets, once my mom passes. It seems that he's just letting the penalties continue building for that reason, while being able to point to "20,000 owed to me" as one of her "valid" debts, thereby absolving him of any wrong doing as POA with her current monthly income!
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I should add, the original executor of a POA should be able to revoke it in writing even if she/he does not have a copy of it. But if you do have a copy (or can get one), it might be useful to see exactly what powers were given to your brother. Your mother could request that your brother send her a copy of the original POA (again, I'd make such a request via certified/registered mail).
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I don't believe that the original lawyer needs to be involved at all in the revocation of a POA. I would take my parent immediately to a new lawyer to draft a new POA. POAs generally contain language that specifies they can be revoked "in writing" at any time by the original executor. If you have a copy of the original POA, you can see specifically what language it uses to this effect.

I assume the new POA would contain language revoking all previous POAs (and specifically referring to the one dated x/x/xx and naming So-and-So as the acting agent). I would send a copy of the new POA via registered, certified mail to your brother and to the lawyer who created/notarized the original POA. It is important also to update any banks or other institutions that have the old POA on file.

Yes, if you've contacted an attorney who has done nothing, I would find a different attorney. Time if of the essence here, not just because of what your brother is doing "with authority" but because of your mother's shrinking window of competency.

If your mother is capable of doing so, I would suggest asking her to write a statement explaining why she wants to revoke the existing POA, and I would get that statement notarized along with the new POA. She may be able to do this now but not later, is the thing, and if legal action comes up down the road, it might help to show that she was "of sound mind" and had good reasons for revoking the POA when she did it.
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