My 79yo mil who still drives, lives on her own and is in pretty good health but rather stubborn...I have explained to her although in vain what a rest home does when it comes to taking her home as it is paid off and in her name if shod forbid she would ever end up in husband has even tried to talk to her...she doesn't understand if she should go into a RH that her home would no longer b hers or her spouses as he is husband has tried to get her to transfer ownership to him or one of his siblings..we r responsible for her care...and she wants the money from the home to be divided between his two siblings and they would receive nothing..we don't care about selling of her home for us as our home is paid off and money is nice but we're trying to watch out for her and his siblings...any ideas on how to change her mind since she wants home sold and $ to go to the 2 siblings...she doesn't seem to realize if something horrible/unexpected were to happen to her that put her in RH her other children would get nothing and I am taking care of my mother now (who has no assets) and there is NO WAY I could care for another demented person 😟

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I was thinking the exact same thing - where is she planning to live?

I suspose if worse comes to worse and she actually gets a real estate agent - you or hubby could talk to the agent and explain that MIL is suffering from dementia- whether it's been diagnosed or not this is not rational thinking. If the agent does not agree to resign go over their head to the person in charge of the agency and explain to them. Tell them if they go forward you will charge them with elder abuse.

But do try to get MIL into see a geriatric specialist or neurologist. Something's not right.
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Your mil is 79, is in decent health, and has no assets other than the home. Is that right? Where does she plan to live when the house is sold?

I think you are wise to be thinking about needing funds to care for her down the road. Maybe she'll stay perfectly healthy until she dies, but that is not a given.

Selling the house and giving the proceeds to children or to anyone, for that matter, will create a penalty situation for Medicaid if she needs to apply within 5 years of giving assets away. Selling the house is fine ... as long as the proceeds are used or set aside for HER CARE. No other use is acceptable to Medicaid. Would this logic make more sense to her?

Transferring the home to someone else would be considered gifting my Medicaid.

Why is she so eager to give money to two of her children now? Why not leave it in a will? Then if she needs it for her own care, she'll have it. If she doesn't, her heirs will get it.
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