Follow
Share

I care take an 85 year old, never married woman who had a stroke 8 months ago. She has recovered as much as she will, according to the doctors. She believes that she can drive, and will again. Also she is always telling me that she can bath herself etc when the aides say otherwise. The problem is and advice please: She has taken the car out on the lawn, then not known how to get the car in park, she can't bath herself without someone assisting her and hovering, and if they don't assist her she will fall - so they won't let her do it herself. I have spoken to her family about the car and other things, and they say, " just let her believe these things and don't take away her hope…" Taking the car out is dangerous, not only to her but to others. She has vascular dementia, when she gets agitated she acts out in strange ways, including going for the car. I am seeing that her life long independence is now a hinderance. Any suggestions to get someone like this to trust? or listen?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Send the car "to the garage for repairs". Make sure it doesn't come back. Mom also has vascular dementia, and that is what we had to do. Later we had to move her to Assisted Living when she almost blew up the kitchen.
The anxiety and anger can be treated with meds from her MD. Please tell me this lady is not left alone at any time. It's just not safe.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am family…and I have been trying to get her siblings to help me help her- with these issues and more.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The car keys need to disappear. Tell her the family used the car and forgot to put the keys back or whatever. Then the family needs to have a reality check as to what a real danger is for their Mom to be driving. From the lawn she could have ended up in the middle of the house! She can be kept safe without destroying her hope.

My Mother always thought if she just got the right "pill" she could walk again. That was fine, we just let it go. All the rehab available never made a difference; we just kept saying maybe someday. Good luck!.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

"You don't want your family to fire me, do you?? I love being with you! And if you take the car out, I'm going to lose my job!!"

You cannot let her take out the car. You cannot let her do unsafe things on your watch. That's your job. If you can't handle it, you need to resign. Sorry to be so abrupt, but that's the God's honest truth.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.