Stephanie71 Asked September 2021
Caring for senior twins. Both COPD and one with cancer. Any ideas?
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Mom and aunt have COPD badly enough that they stopped walking. They can go a few step, but they won’t. My mom thinks she just needs a diagnosis and a pill and everything will be fine. Mom neglected her health for years and still smokes a lot! I don’t think the doctors understand how serious this is. They do not have supplemental oxygen because their O2 levels are always fine. Mom was seen in ER and labs and chest X-ray were fine. Discharged home! They are also extremely difficult patients and reject things like wheel chairs and commode. I have to go back to work! Ideas? Oh, and my aunt has rectal cancer and nobody knows what stage.
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Stephanie71 Sep 2021
Thanks- They have a private pay helper now. I’m still “expected” to cover the weekends. This is really hard.
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Geaton777 Sep 2021
Your profile says you are an only child and your aunt has no children yet they both are expecting you to be their assumed care plan. Are you the DPoA for your mom or both? If you're not and she won't assign you as DPoA AND she's not cooperative, I would allow the county social services to deal with the both of them because it is just not going to be sustainable for you and your husband to be juggling their flaming balls of illness and incapacity within them participating. You will eventually catch fire. Please read the other hundreds of posts on this forum from loving, well-meaning but exhausted and burnt out adult children of unreasonable and needy parents. You and your husband are #1 priority. You don't seem to see the boundaries with your mom and aunt...and there needs to be clear and healthy boundaries.
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