I am caring for S patient who lost 30% of right side but left side is fine She can do things but wants me to do everything. How to handle?


She had show me how to wash her dress her The other day she took her coat off and hung it up herself She is use to having someone just do everything for her.
I talked to Husband and explained I feel she needs to keeping doing for herself
If she struggles then I will help her. But she does not want to do anything she wants to be waited on She gets out and shops everyday 4-5 hours She is a strong women and I like her very much But I feel she will lose her ability to do what she can if she just has everyone doing for her. She stays up to 1-2 am she is able to take her leg brace off to watch TV then put it on and fold the blanket and go upstairs get undressed and put PJ on and go to bed. But in the morning she want you to dress and wash her. How do you handle this
Please help me Maybe I am wrong to thinks letting her do for herself is the best thing in the long run for her. JR

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I sense she lives alone and feels insecure. Having you there makes her feel safe. Having you help her makes her feel someone cares. Her needs are more emotional than physical. Help her, yes, but don't wear yourself down doing it.
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Trulycare, the fact that your patient can go shopping everyday for 4-5 hours tell me she is very capable of handling just about anything to a limit. Then again, after all that shopping [makes me tired just thinking about it] maybe she actually is very tired when she gets up in the morning and does need your help.

You are so right that if she doesn't keep doing things for herself, she will lose that ability. Who takes her shopping? You or her husband? If you feel like she is "acting" helpless at time, then I would just tell her that it wouldn't be a good idea to go shopping if she is so tired. See if that will help change her way of thinking. It could be she does have her high and low points during the day.
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