Caring for my 88 yr. old father for the past 4 months and am new to caregiving. How can I best help him?


He refuses to see a doctor! Previously diagnosed with Afib, glaucoma and cataracts. His hearing loss and loss of sight getting worse....multiple signs off dementia. Experiencing hallucinations and so real to him. Easily becomes anxious and confused.
How can I best help him?

Find Care & Housing


Since he has dementia and is anxious, confused, with hallucinations speak with his doctor about getting some anti-anxiety meds for him.

Since you've been with your dad for only 4 months you may not have had a situation where he's needed to see his doctor. If you take your dad to the doctor but would like to get some information to the doctor without your dad sitting right there write a note. A brief note about your dad's hallucinations and his anxiety. Give the nurse the note when she calls you and your dad back and tell her it's very important that the doctor read the note prior to coming into the office.

Or, if you think it's okay you can just talk in front of your dad during an office visit. I always opted for the note because I knew my dad wouldn't be 100% honest with the doctor.

As for when your dad is having anxiety or hallucinations, comfort him. Speak calmly, hold his hand, reassure him that everything is alright, that you're there and you won't let anything happen to him. Just be with him and offer comfort. When he begins to calm down offer him some juice or water or a snack if he's hungry but don't leave him while he's still upset. My dad had such horrible delusions and this was how I dealt with them and it worked. Until it happened again. My dad found comfort in my touch and
calm reassurances.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Eyerishlass

Untrated AFib which if meds needs close follow up bloodwork when strict anticoagulents are used, will eventually lead to a stroke. Watch for symptoms.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MACinCT

Can you make an appointment with his doc and just take him there?

Find out if the Visiting Physician's Association is available in your area.

Trying to reason with someone with dementia is a waste of your energy.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn