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Wondering if anyone is taking care of more than one person who's suffered a stroke. My mom had a couple a few years ago and so did my younger brother. I'm so lost as to what to do. I can't manage my brother's care from here and I don't want to attempt a move with mom and my kids to where my brother lives. I could move him to me but I'm not sure what all it would take to care for 2 people, both family, who had strokes. Both are VERY demanding. I want it to be temporary so I can find him an assisted living facility, but I'd have to get him signed up for medicaid. Thay may take a couple months. I need some advice I guess. Suggestions, opinions, whatever deemed helpful. Im struggling with this decision. Thanks in advance for your input.

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He gets ssi. But here, finding qualified caregivers is hit or miss. Also, the ssi would pay for a few hours a week. Hes not total care like mom. It would be more just helping him to the resroom and household things, cook, clean etc. He can walk and transfer himself. Just cant really speak anymore but wants things yesterday like mom. That would be difficult. Even short term. But thanks again for the responses.
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Do you have home health coming in to help with mom? Might you be able to hire, private pay from the same agency until you were able to get him qualified for Medicaid in your state?
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Barbbrooklyn, he's in a nursing. Was asking if anyone was caring for multiple family members who'd suffered strokes to get an idea what it might entail.
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What kind of facility is your brother in, nursing home? Is he eligible to stay There?

Curious what kinds of question you are not getting answers to.
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Thanks guys for all the responses. I like the "im out of my mind" one the best. Gave me a much needed chuckle. I have talked to my brother about staying in MS. He doesnt "want" to. He said he understands when i tell him i cant bring him out to the nw where i am. Its basically an "ok" bc he has aphasia and his short term memory is hit or miss, so i get several asking the same questions calls. My kids are 17, 15, 6. I guess I was hoping it could be done. I cant keep going back and forth to MS. The social workers and nurses down there are completely useless. I call and call and get nonresults and sometimes no answers. Hence the back and forth trips. Tanks for listening and offering helpful answers. You all were a great help.
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I was taking care of my mom who had a stroke (incontinent, delusional, poor eating, anxious, not sleeping at night) and my dad has dementia that was much worse than I realized. He wasn't taking his meds, bathing on a regular basis, trying to drive his car after taking xanax, eating just junk food, falling. It was exhausting. When I did go home, it was a 6 hour drive. I used one of the online services to help with assisted living. The service is free. They receive a payment from the facility if you chose them. It was very helpful. If your brother's income is below a certain level, there's assistance for in-home care that can help temporarily. My parents were living in CT, not sure where you live. Try googling
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Dear anerhll, I'm with CM. Glad CDN got here first.

Who is caring for your children? What are there ages? I ask this as someone whose childhood was burnt on an altar of dying relatives. My mother was much too busy tending the illl to pay any mind to her eldest, quiet child. The noisy, troublesome boys got tended to because they were noisy, but childhood depression flew under the radar in the 50s and 60s.

Just my thoughts.
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I'm glad CDN was first with her kind, sympathetic and constructive reply. Because I read your post and thought "are you out of your mind???" Not helpful, forgive me, but I still think that's the instinctive response.

You have your children, first, and your mother, next, to care for. Many would think the children are plenty to be going on with; but it is greatly to your credit that you have found a way to manage these commitments all together.

Add in your brother, and surely you will overburden the whole structure? - surely!

Clearly you feel a strong sense of responsibility towards your brother, and that again is to your credit. But in reality you are not responsible for him; and in practical, logistical terms it is just too much for one person, plus the location is an issue too - uprooting him won't be a good start to his further care. CDN's suggestion of liaising with his social worker is, I should have thought, exactly the way to go.
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Dear anerhill,

I'm very sorry to hear about mom and brother's stroke. You are so kind to want to take care of both of them. I know there is a lot on your shoulders. I would consider talking to a social worker about your brother. I think it would be a lot take on two people with strokes. It is demanding. I know you in your heart you want to help them, but if you get burned out and stressed, it won't do anyone any good.

Have you talked with your brother about his options? Perhaps he does not want to move and would prefer to find an assisted living facility or nursing home. I would take it step by step and start looking at Medicaid.

I didn't have a family and took care of my dad after his stroke. After three years of caring for him, it did take a toll. I underestimated how resentful and angry I got because I had so little support from my siblings. I needed to find a better balance but I didn't. Trying to be super woman was a big mistake.

Take care of yourself. Thinking of you.
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