She is pleasant to others who come into the home and complains of being alone even though I am here 24/7. She sleeps mostly so I read or do chores. She is pleasant to visitors and not so nice to me.
Where is her son, your boyfriend in all of this and why isn't he more hands on? Are you living in her home or she in yours? And if you're in her house, why? This woman is NOT your responsibility and I'm not clear as to how and why you got sucked into this. And I find it incredibly sad that after 22 years with this man that you don't feel like you can share what you're feeling with what's going on with his manipulative mom. That my dear is not a sign of a healthy relationship, as you should be able to share everything and anything with someone you love. Perhaps it's time for you to move on to greener pastures, and let her dear son(your boyfriend)take over moms care. Then and only then will his eyes be opened to see the whole picture of what's going on. Please take care of yourself as NO ONE is worth risking our own health over.
" I gave her a glass of milk, half full in a large glass and her son said can’t you use a smaller glass ( she had complained about a smaller glass earlier which he wouldn’t know)."
If your BF was there, why didn't HE giver her the milk?
How long have you been doing this? (And, more importantly, WHY are you doing this?)
Does you BF still work? Does he do ANY care for his mother?
You have a bad back? Why did you even take this on?
I have been with her son 22 years and have been her ‘daughter-in-law’ as she tells others. She has a very stubborn personality and does not deal with people openly ( she is nice to their face but is extremely judgmental away from them) She and her son are so slow to make decisions. I am a retired nurse so I set up hospice ( with their permission), I ordered a hospital bed, bedside toilet, walker, bath aide etc She is rarely happy with food I prepare, even though she requested it. I manage her meds and care giving people coming in. She acts helpless and needy or acts out by slamming her walker on the floor at night as I try to rest. Refuses to eat but gets up in the night to get food. She wants me here but becomes testy when I do chores ( she no longer can yet I try to give her things to do she can manage) . I have to hide small coffee cups because she always uses high fill button and has burned her hand a couple of times. She acts like she wishes I would just leave her to do whatever she wants ( not eating, not sleeping, not answering the door or the phone, chronic vomiting from not eating and constipation because of dehydration.) Then when I get someone to sit with her she is angry I was gone. I gave her a glass of milk, half full in a large glass and her son said can’t you use a smaller glass ( she had complained about a smaller glass earlier which he wouldn’t know). Being a nurse I know she is manipulative and turns her personality off and on when it suits her, but I do my best to remain patient unless I need to be firm with her. She does little things to aggravate me then turns around and says I don’t know what I would do without you. My gramma once told me that old people are not mean old people, they were that way most of their life, I believe that is true in a large percentage of cases. Her son doesn’t see the behaviors and I don’t share them unless it is something that is a safety issue. I did tell him, due to my age and back problems that a time may come to make hard decisions.
This woman is NOT your responsibility and I'm not clear as to how and why you got sucked into this.
And I find it incredibly sad that after 22 years with this man that you don't feel like you can share what you're feeling with what's going on with his manipulative mom. That my dear is not a sign of a healthy relationship, as you should be able to share everything and anything with someone you love.
Perhaps it's time for you to move on to greener pastures, and let her dear son(your boyfriend)take over moms care. Then and only then will his eyes be opened to see the whole picture of what's going on.
Please take care of yourself as NO ONE is worth risking our own health over.
If your BF was there, why didn't HE giver her the milk?
How long have you been doing this? (And, more importantly, WHY are you doing this?)
Does you BF still work? Does he do ANY care for his mother?
You have a bad back? Why did you even take this on?