Is anyone caring for a friend who is not a relative?

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I am caring for an elderly friend. She is 77 and I am 60.
I retire next year. My friend has no one else. Her husband died a year and a half ago and they had no children and she has no siblings. Her health is not good . She is on oxygen and walks with a walker. Up until this past week she still worked part time but she can't anymore. Her oxygen level is so low that her doctor wanted her to go to the hospital and she won't go. Her total income is 1500 a month since she is not working. Her apt costs 750 a month plus electricity. I found a senior living facility that would cost her 400 a month and that includes her electricity. She won't move.
She always reminds me that I am all she has. I have a husband who is already retired and two grown sons who are staying with us temporarily . She can't live with us. My folks live 5 hours away from us. Mom Is 87 and Dad is 90. They are doing great! Live in their own home and have enough money to go to assisted Living if they need to in the future. They want me to visit more when I retire. This is why I want my friend to be in a safe facility instead of alone in an apt. I have her power of attorney and am beneficiary on her life insurance policy which is enough to bury or cremate her and have a little left over. And that is fine. She has around 10,000 in savings which she will need to supplement her rent now that she is not working . I just worry about what will happen to when her money runs out?
Any ideas to get her to move to the cheaper senior apt? She still has to get on the list for the senior apt

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Oregongirl...people abuse people that are close to them because there is no one else around to abuse! you should be asking yourself...why do you put up with his abuse??? regardless of whether he's old and sick...let him know you won't put up with it or you will leave him. if he doesn't believe you because you have put up with it for so long...leave for a few days...and then see how he behaves towards you!!
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Thanking everyone for their insightful answers. I
did go look at one of the senior living facilities and
she qualifies for a subsidy. That would make her rent
450 and that includes electricity. It was senior
living not assisted . And it was a nice place with
lots of activities. But she refuses to move anywhere.
She cries when I suggest it. I'm am going to have to
have a heart to heart talk with her .
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Well, I am more than a caregiver, I am his Partner and I love him dearly. His children are worthless. One lives in Germany and the other two just don't care. I did not understood and at first thought it might be the "father". But, I have gotten to know them more over the years and they are simply selfish. I guess there are a lot of selfish people in the world. I agree, time away might make him appreciate me. A while back, I was going to go visit my kids. He was very upset and sad. He was not loudly upset, just sad...I cancelled my trip and now plan on going sometime this summer anyway. I will have to hire a caregiver in my absence. It does hurt me the way he behaves, but I must remember, he is ill and I cannot expect him to understand everything he is going through. I will pray that God grants me the ability to love him and not get upset. I have no other choice.
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When my Aunt had a head injuryfrom a car accident, she would take her frustrations out on my Mom, her sister.The doctor told my Mom the loved one always gets the brunt of it because the patient knows they can get away with it. Maybe when he gets this way u should tell him you know he is hurting but he is hurting you and that is not fair. If he doesn't have Dementia and continues then its abuse and maybe u should give him an ultimatim. Either treat u kinder or ur living. Does he have children? Inform them so they will be ready to take over. Other than loving this person you are under no obligation to take care of him. Maybe some time away will make him appreciate what he has.
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Sometimes certain things cause me to ask - Why am I doing this? My partner has a loving way, but he can be SO mean at times. I know this is the illness, but I feel like hell when I get yelled at, especially for all the care I am giving. I start feeling sorry for myself. He asked me to do this care, before he became ill. He was so afraid of being left alone. I had NO experience with care other than taking care of my husband for about two months when he was near death. He never got angry at me. But, maybe given time, he would have also. Why do they get mean? Why do they yell at the one person who is there for them? I just let him go on as if I said what I was feeling, I would be packing my bags. Then just as quick as he got angry he is wanting a kiss. It is very close to abuse, isn't it? But, this behavior is not intentional...
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After everything you wrote...you don't want her there...move her out!
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AND, I would like to add, everyone should stay at an Independent Living place for a couple of months just to find out how fast your rights drift away. You live under their rules...They smile and talk nice, but the bottom line is their profit. The place we stayed in was Top of the Line and I hated it. Meals when they schedule them, not when I am hungry. However we did have a full kitchen so I could have cooked. But who turns down meals that are cooked for you. I would rather live in a tent than to live in any Independent Living facility EVER.
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Its your life. As much as I complain at times, I realize that care giving is MY choice. I could walk away but I have to think of the consequences. If this starts to interfere much more with my seeing my children, I am going to suggest that we sell and move closer to my children. $10,000 is peanuts and will not go far at all. When we had a fire, we stayed at an Independent Living facility. Our insurance paid for 5 months. When it came to us to pay until our home was finished, we realized how fast our savings was being tapped. It is a minimum of $4000.00 a month, so you can figure how long her savings will last. Then if the place has a room for State patient, she can stay, otherwise, they will move her to another place. You cannot get back the years we are giving now..
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Sorry, posted too early

Once she is in nursing care, u can visit and do what u can or her financially. I think it was said that oncehe is on Medicaid the home can be made payee or her SS. Then u don't have to worry about that.

I do feel for you. I wouldn't want this responsibility and decision. I hope we all learn from the experences we read on this site. We have to plan ahead and not put the burden on our children or other relatives. We need to take care of ourselves.
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If her oxygen level is so low she will end up in the hospital. I think when oxygen levels are this low, too much carbon dioxide is in ur system and u slowly suffocate. If she ends up in the hospital, this is the time for the drs to intervene. They need to be told she has no one to take care of her. They can have her put into a NH. No, she won't like it but she will be safe and taken care of. You can use her POA to use any assets for her care. MPOA will give u the ability to talk to her Drs and Nurses.
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