Caring for Mother (84) with dementia.

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She's become mean, combative, and doesn't want me out of her sight. I'm exhausted and nothing I do seems to please her. I feel trapped.

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Jessebelle, One benefit to "the blind leading the blind" is that at the very least, one has traveled that path before. Your experiences, and your willingness to share them has, no doubt, helped so many!
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Patsyt- can you tell us a little bit more? Are you living with your mom or she with you? Are you your mothers primary caregiver? Are the medical or mobility issues beyond dementia? There are a whole lot of smart, kind folk here - some who are going through or have gone through the same struggles that you are I know they'd like to try to help you.
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There's not much I could add to the sage advice above, but I do hope you are finding some time for yourself during the day, even if it's just to take a 5 minute walk to clear your head. You have every right to keep yourself emotionally and physically healthy, and you must do so or you'll not be any good to anyone else. If you have access to counseling that would be wonderful, but I find I get a ton of support just from the wonderful folks on here...I don't feel so alone or so trapped, knowing that others know what I'm going through. I wish you the best...try to remember to breathe :)
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Often I sit and try to think of some good advice, but feel like I'm the blind leading the blind. I can say that I know how you are feeling. We want so badly to help, but they have so much need and can be so unpleasant that we can start thinking about finding the nearest cliff to jump off of. Fortunately, there aren't any good cliffs around here. :) When my mother gets too irritating, I do walk away. I usually have work and chores that need to be done, so sticking around doesn't make sense. She might not like that I walk away, but it is something I do for me. I know that I am as important as she is. It took a while for me to figure that out. Your mother may not want you out of her sight, but it doesn't mean you have to stay in her sight. I take it you are staying with your mother. Just let her know you'll be in your room working if she needs you.

We really do have to be doing our own things to maintain some sense of privacy and normalcy. If you have time, let us know a bit more about you.
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In addition to Jeanne's excellent suggestions, you might consider having her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. Sometimes, medication for depresion and anxity can help with the anger and agitation.
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Patsyt, what you describe is not unusual in dementia. My suggestions are:
1) learn all you can about dementia, and if it is known, about her particular type of dementia. Knowing what to expect takes a little (not all) of the sting out of it. For example, accusing others of stealing is extremely common. Knowing that may help you take it less personally.
2) You say she's "become" nasty. Does that mean she was a reasonably pleasant person and nurturing mother in the past? If so, cherish those memories. Know that how she is now is not something she would have chosen!
3) If, instead, she has always been demanding and impossible to please, then think through what coping devices helped you through this far, and polish them up to use again!
4) Join a support group. This is a great online group -- come here often. But if at all possible find a local in-person group you can belong to.
5) A book that helped me a lot is "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia" by Pauline Boss. Not everyone likes to read, but if you do this is a very helpful choice.
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This disease is horrible. My Mother acts out constantly. I hope you're not alone in this. Mother is delusional and accuses people of robbing her constantly. It's simply not true but hurts very badly. She wants ( and needs) someone to be around 24/7 then divides she ants to be left alone. I totally u deist and never pleasing mom - I've been trying to do so most of my life. This disease has just made her meaner and nastier. Try to hang on to the few positive moments and by all means try to arrange some help.

I think all of us who are caregivers feel entrapped at times. It makes me so sad to think how those we care for must feel.

I wish you all the best. This forum has been a welcome support to me. I hope you find some comfort in it as well.
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