Any advice on caring for an alcoholic, lying Dad?

MsBeth. I am begining to wonder about you. I just re-read your post. You said you are the oldest of 14 kids AND he left when you were 2. Never was much good at math but this one is glaring. You have been told what you need to do but you fail to help this man who needs nutrition and rehydration. Changed from whisky to beer did he? and the minister got it for him. Hmmm . Don't waste our time MsBeth

He's probably not your father, either. Call the cops.

if your in a forgiving frame of mind require him to pay his own way plus a fee for caregiving. im sorry but there is no excuse for walking away from a 2 yr old and never looking back. im into forgiveness but im into making things right too..

OK let's pretend you are one of the children.. What kind of emotional damage do you have from living with a sociopathic drunk? How do you trust a mother who tells you she's locking you in to keep you safe from the nut case? What do you tell the other kids when they want to come to your house? How do you function in school when home is a night mare? Beth, what on earth are you thinking? CPS would take the kids away if they knew.

MsBeth, it is simply not true that there is nothing you can do. It is your home. You have control over who lives there. If you file an eviction notice and he does not leave, then he will have committed a crime, and can be forced by law enforcement to leave. It may not be as easy as calling a cab and sending him to a care center, but it can be done, if you really want him out of there.

You found your father and you want the relationship so bad you will take the abuse? Just like lying isn't illegal, placing him in a Nursing home and loving him at a distance and visiting isn't either. He needs to get into a routine of being cared for, bathing, eating, and meds.,etc. I have a rule in my home, if you don't eat, or take your medicine, I call an ambulance. I am not going to get charged for not feeding an elderly parent, or holding their meds. Lying now, leads to accusations later. COA! Cover your A**!

Thank you EVERYONE some of you truly made me laugh.
I did go to the police and they thought I was insane for doing all I have for him. They did get me in contact with agencies, one telling me to charge him for all my expense's and then send him into a facility - his refusal to eat (5days now) and not shower (over a yr) is mental issue's. The police also did a back ground check on him and he was in prison for 10yrs, (not sure why though it didn't show up in records) when I asked him about it he said armed robbery - he told my son in law he killed a man. OMG!! I don't know what to believe when it comes from his mouth. either way I am looking into alternative care for him. I don't have the money or means to do this and I don't want too. Heart broken to the max

It is easy to think we are helping someone, when what we are doing, is enabling the person to be irresponsible, and we help them to continue to play the victim. Poor me, feel sorry for me, I can't make it w/o you. I haven't exactly been in this situation the same way that you are, but similar - an alcoholic - and he will suck the life out of you. If your family is worried about how this is affecting you, then your emotional well-being is deteriorating. If he hasn't had a bath in a year, he needs more help than you can give him. He is not well. Having him in your home will make you "not well" -emotionally and physically. Don't let ANYONE (not even your father) suck the like out of you. I don't see this as a situation where you owe him or don't owe him. NO GUILT! He needs professional help, and you are not qualified to deal with him. The most loving thing to do would be to get that for him, however you can - but somewhere else besides your home.
Have you ever attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting? People there might be able to help and give you ideas on how to handle this. They have all been where you are. Praying for you -------

I AM VERY REAL THANK YOU, I am the oldest of his 14 children. I have gone quiet because I am dealing with this issue in the real world, along with several other issues. Look I only asked for help on advice, not to be judged. But if you would like to judge here judge this too- my husband died 4 yrs ago and I've been raising my 4 children alone, working 2-3 jobs to feed and support them. I have a huge heart and help those in need. When this man (my "sperm doner") was found by my 1/2 brother I DIDN'T EVEN WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM! But I listened to his story, believed it because other family told me - yes it's true WHEN IN REALITY THEY DIDN'T KNOW THE TRUTH! so judge me all you want I don't personally care.

GOOD NEWS!! He's gone. I had a lady come in from the county, he lied to her (THANKFULLY I told her the entire story and had witness' and notarized statements from everyone involved) she knew the truth before she even came to my home. (she talked to ALL family members who knew the story) and when she came in he told her I was mean to him, that my house was always dirty, I didn't feed him, and I took his money without him knowing. She told him well we better get you out of here immediately, he now is living in an adult center for elderly. And he has been court ordered to pay me $400.00 a month for all the expense's I gave out to help him. The judge told him (after reading all reports, seeing pictures, and hearing testaments from everyone) his lying put him where he's at and maybe when he tries to take advantage of his children again he should think twice. The judge asked the lady he was living with "did you kick him out or evict him" she said no I didn't even know he was leaving I was in the hospital, the judge said do you want him back she said HELL NO! Not after everything he has done to his daughter and myself. So it' has worked out in my favor thank you everyone. Will be along time before I help any family members again.