Who cares for elderly parents when their offspring refuse?

Follow
Share

Abusive parent.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
7

Answers

Show:
Sunflo: "You have obligation to make sure youve done everything in your power to get her assistance." What kind of obligation? Legal? Moral? Psychological?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If they have not been declared incompetent and are mobile, then you can go on with your own life in most states. Unless there are laws on the books in your state that require you to be responsible for your parents in some way, you can not be forced into caring for a parent who is capable for doing for themselves, even if they are elderly and get confused quite often. If they are bed ridden, different story....that would be criminal no matter what state one lived in.

Best to check out the laws in your state concerning the elderly.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You have obligation to make sure youve done everything in your power to get her assistance. If she is mentally competent or has not been documented by drs as incompetent; then she can make decisions to not move or accept help. And u can move on. Maybe set boundaries where u call or visit 1x per week to help.

You should discuss with local center for aging for guidance. You cant just walk out at this point.

But u can seek other care residences and gain her agreement to move possibly.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I think there are many answers to this, depending on circumstances. It matters who else is in the picture that could possibly help out, whether the parent has funds for paid care, how well the parent could actually manage on their own, what kinds of help the person needs.

I personally think the idea of calling Adult Protective Services and attempting to make the person a ward of the state is very iffy. If they think she's not a danger to herself or others, I doubt they'd take her. If they think she is, they might take her but then bring a lawsuit for abandonment against the prior caregiver. In my state at least, abandoning an elderly or disabled person is a crime and people have actually been sent to jail.

Maybe a little more information would help us understand your situation better.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Why do you ask? I see from your profile that you are looking after your depressed mother: was she always abusive, is there a long history of abuse; or is it more that you are getting to the end of your tether with her mood and personality now?

Either way, there can be many perfectly good reasons for delegating the hands-on care of your parent to others. The difference is to do with how you might feel about doing that, depending on the quality of your lifelong relationship with your mother.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

MsMcGr, was/is the parent in question abusive? That is an excellent reason for offspring to refuse hands-on care of the parent. In some cases the son or daughter or other relative may decide to be in charge of the care but not to do it personally. For example, the relative may be an advocate for the parent in a nursing home.

Allowing the abusive parent to become a ward of the state is often a reasonable solution under the circumstances.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Depends on the state. A few states have passed laws making children responsible for any $$$ medicaid has to put out on behalf of their parents but no one can force children to "care" for their parents. It will ultimately be the state department of aging (read medicaid) if no one is available (or willing) to help and the parents can no longer care for themselves.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions