Is it me or does caregiving really turn you into a bad person?

Follow
Share

As it is very clear to you all how stressful caregiving can be! I have taken care of my grandmother last year, and I take care of her now once in a while, she doesn't even know my name, or doesn't want to remember it, I once gave her a new shirt, and helped her wear it, and as soon as turned my back she removed it and put it under her pillow, and she doesn't want to wear it at all! I got upset about it and a bit mad, I mean I know she’s old and dealing with dementia… and the list is long, but I couldn't help it.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
5

Answers

Show:
Why do you need a reason to get mad? S**t, those reasons are everywhere!
Be happy gramma is saving your gift... she loves you, think OUT of the box and out of the negative. It truly helps :)
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Believe me, I know she can’t help it not to remember my name, but sometimes it’s hard to think positive about it, I need a reason to get mad as well! And thanks for the awesome responses guys. Stay positive or try to stay positive.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sometimes it's hard not to take it personally when you're working SO HARD for your loved one and they can't appreciate it for whatever reason. My mom saves everything for later. I keep telling her that after she's gone, I'll have 5,000 really nice address labels for her because she doesn't want to use the nice ones, she wants to save them. ARGGGGGH!!!! And she's saving her "good robe" for when she goes to the hospital. She's been in the hospital a number of times and has never worn that robe there once! But she won't wear it at home. It's that Depression era mentality. So I agree that your grandmother is saving your precious gift to her under her pillow.

But you need to do some reading on dementia if you think your grandmother doesn't remember your name because she's not trying. Her brain is broken and she can't help it. Go to youtube and watch some Teepa Snow videos on Alzheimers and dementia. Your grandmother can't help it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I think so many frustrations build up - it's not turning into a bad person. It's just the result of stressful caregiving taking its toll. We react to certain situations after a time in a different manner that we never thought we would. Most of us have done this and felt this from time to time - it is difficult - but, we learn from our reactions as well. Take care.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Nah, you are not a bad person. Caregiving is very stressful. My mother doesn't know who I am either... yet she does know my name, especially at 3:00 A.M. !

For what it's worth, a lot of Alzheimer's/Dementia peeps tuck their prized possessions under their pillows. Just in case someone wants to come along and take it!! She is making sure it stays safely tucked away with her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions