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I believe she is losing her hearing and suffering memory loss, way more than you would expect at 72. I took care if my father for the last 2 years of his cancer, but whatever mom is going through, she has turned it on me. I was just wonderng if someone might help me understand it better.

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Here's an article about helping people live with vision problems. That's obviously not the only issue here but it may give your some ideas:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/living-with-vision-problems-177792.htm

Other issues should be checked out, too. A complete checkup to rule out a UTI or other infection (gums, etc.), a hearing check, and of course a visit to a neurologist if needed.

Good luck,
Carol
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My 96 year old mother has suffered from macular degeneration and other eye problems for years. She's almost blind now and has dementia. I believe the eye problems have exacerbated the dementia because not seeing or being as mobile cuts down on the stimulus we all need to stay involved. Now, instead of reading, bird watching, TV, cooking, etc. she is dependent on others. She isn't even sure whether someone is talking to her unless they are quite close or say her name. She is now in an assisted living facility and pretty well-adjusted. She comes to my house for holidays and many weekends. She loves music and short stories on tape. She still loves good food. In good weather she loves sitting on the deck, she enjoys short rides in the car... For a long time she manipulated "Tangles" (look on Amazon) but has lost interest now.
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It seems that the problem is that your mom has become " mean and hateful" meaning ABUSIVE to you. Do you think this has something to do with the macular degeneration ? I would get a UTI ruled out and then take her to a geriatric psychiatrist to see about her mental health, her mood and her agitation.
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My mother also has AMD and at 94 is nearly blind. Complicated by hearing loss, which is getting worse, this condition has contributed to dementia which our MD says is related to her vision loss. When she began having distorted vision, she insisted that people were changing things in and around her apartment. She has created a complex delusion in which she swears a relative(who lives thosands of miles away) is sneaking into her apartment and hiding things or taking things. I looked it up on the internet, and it stated that people do this because they can't cope with the reality that it is THEM doing the hiding (or misplacing). This has led to all kinds of issues in her ALF, as she swears the maintenance man has "changed" her thermostat, the controls on the elevator, etc. Latest thing is that someone came in and took a favorite pillow, and switched it with a lesser pillow. It is the same pillow she has had for years, but became enraged and aggressive when anyone tried to tell her that, so we have found it is just best to agree with her and say what a shame it is that someone would do that.
I am hoping there will be progress in treating this, as I also have both AMD and Glaucoma, and see the writing on the wall.
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I just did a quick research on that laser surgery and the article said it is used for leaking blood vessels in the eye, depending on where said blood vessels are located when the patient has wet macular degeneration. The article said out of 100 patients who used the laser, it was only successful on 15 patients.
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debdaughter, you mentioned you thought moms confusion may be more related to sight tgan dementia. Thats interesting because i have felt the same way with my mom. My mom has sever MD and bad hearing loss. The lack of sensory stimulation from sight and sound I believe had lead to her being more confused. She only picks up parts of conversations and cannot see well enough to fill in the gaps. I truly believe there is a link connecting it all.
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My Mom, aged 82, has the wet macular and she gets shots in her eyes. It was 1x/month and now it's like every 3 - 4 months. I am going to investigate this laser surgery "Wintersun" mentioned. Everyone is different but still....we should be given all the options from our doctors.

Good luck to everyone who is dealing with this personally and stay strong to all of us caretakers!
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Thanks Freqflyer. Don't like those odds, especially when there are always great possibilities for complications.
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Thank you everyone for you most helpful answers. She is going to the Dr. in a matter of days. She has always been independent and I think this also is a problem. I am going to learn everything I can everyday and take very deep breaths.
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sorry...gives me migraines) but he was adament he would never use them and I should just get used to it! Lindaz
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