By clicking
Talk to a Specialist, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Volunteering is a very good way to feel useful and make friends. Helping others is often the best way to help ourselves when we are lonely. If you have problems with transportation, contact your local senior services and ask about van transportation for volunteers. But first you have to feel good enough to reach out, which is where medical help may be needed. Please check back with us and tell us how you are doing.
Carol
I've also gotten active through several park districts playing pickleball and badminton. I just bought a summer pool pass to go to the local swimming pool. I may or may not meet people that way, but I'll surely get some good exercise which helps with those feelings of loneliness.
I also volunteer and have done so for a number of years. That always makes me feel good. So find some volunteer opportunities that support your personal beliefs (helping animals, kids, or the environment, etc.). You can't feel lonely when you're with other like-minded people helping others.
I still feel lonely from time to time and wish I had a couple more close friends who live nearby. But for now, I have enough activities and acquaintances to keep me going and feeling good and blessed most days.
So what might help?
I know what would help me would be living alone, ironically. It's that loneliness you feel when you're in a house with three other people but absolutely no one to talk to. We just finished dinner. Between the coughing, the nose-blowing, the little gasps for breath, the deafness, the dodgy table manners and the lack of interest I've never felt more alone in my life. Or had less of an appetite. Daughter is back home for a few more days which should be lovely, but if I try to talk to her then mother can't hear anything, so daughter tries to repeat everything for her - which is sweet, but - anyway. You can't have a conversation. And now of course she's back in her room getting some work done and listening to music. She'd come and help with the dishes and clearing up if I asked her; but I'd rather let her be.
I don't feel unloved, though. Why do you feel unloved? Families can be pretty bloody, and rough on the old ego, but really? Do you think they don't love you or care about you?
What activities do you enjoy? You mentioned a library card: does your local library also have information about readers' groups, events, things you might enjoy joining in with? I know it can be hard to get out of the house on time, but it could be something manageable is on offer. Worth a look?
Keep looking for any kind of meetings.
It's not going to be as easy for me to shut out the people who make me feel unappreciated, as they're my own family. I truly have no friends. Outside of work and online, I have no social life.
I just got my library card the other day on my birthday, which was spent entirely alone, with warmer wishes from strangers than family (they forgot), sort of like Sam in Sixteen Candles, but without the good-looking guy at the end. I try to put a lot of thought into others to make them feel special, especially on important days. Yet, no one does the same for me. So, I'll give the library thing a try. I'm not a church-goer. I'm spiritual, but not really religious. No one walks in my neighborhood, so that would be weird. Are there any other suggestions on how to get out of feeling so alone, unloved, and unappreciated?
See All Answers