I am the only unpaid caregiver for my parents. There is one paid caregiver who does same sorts of duties, I just want to have one day off.
There is no caregiving contract in place, and I don't want to take money from them now because they might need it later.
But, if there is something left, would I be entitled to deduct from their estate for all my documented hours of actual caregiving (not just going out to lunch with mom....)?
I suspect siblings would have a hissy fit, but they are most definitely not doing any caregiving, they all live out of state, and moreover they never even say thankyou to me, or ask me how I am doing. They hardly ever visit folks.
I am the POA and Executor.

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I appreciate the supportive comments. The problem is I sort of "grew" into the caregiving role. At first I was like "it's my moral duty to help them" but after about 10 yrs of increasing Duties, and especially the driving them around in my car, paying gas, and possibly being liable if there was an accident (would my insurance cover their injuries? ).
All of the work I've done has kept them **out** of the facility. They would be on Medicaid right now if not for me.
They did give small checks to my kids for college, maybe it came to about $8-10, 000 over several years, which they did not do for any other grandkids. So I have benefitted, somewhat.
I just do not know how to bring up the subject of asking them to pay me, now.
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Compensate yourself. Consult attorney and draw up legal employment contract similar to paid agency caregivers that includes wages, health insurance and 401k compensation, paid time off, expenses, etc.

Be upfront with sibs and tell them what you are doing...if they refuse, then hire more care or fulltime care and go out and get another job and take care of yourself.

Put your wages in separate acct if you wish to sock away for parents, but when the time comes, it will legally already be out of the estate and all yours and you will feel adequately compensated and not resent y our sibs.
Don't ever count on sibs and family to "compensate you with bigger share in the end".. Won't happen.
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You could sure consult an attorney about that.

Keep in mind that there may be NO estate to divide. (Have you priced care centers?) You yourself say that they might need the money later.

Since you and your parents have no idea, really, how long you will be caring for them, a percentage seems kind of random. Should you get 10% whether you care for them for 2 years or for 16 years? Should you get 10% whether the estate is large or whether it has dwindled considerably?

And what happens if one of them dies and the other needs more care than you can provide and goes into a care center. Would your siblings have a hissy fit at that when the will is probated, and try to get your "bill" thrown out?

I still say pay-as-you-go is the only fair solution. As PrettyGood suggests, you can save some or all of it to help them out if they do need it later. Or Medicaid can help them out.

Definitely see a lawyer!
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Well maybe I need to have the family lawyer draft a "contingent" caregiver contract, which specifies I would be paid a certain percentage of estate, after they both pass, as compensation.
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No. You would not be able to take it out of the estate unless you are a creditor with a legal unpaid bill owed you.

Family caregivers should absolutely be paid for their services on a monthly pay-as-you-go basis, in my opinion, This is not greedy. It is an equitable way to even up the disparities among the contributions of siblings, and to legitimately spend down assets in case the parents ever need to apply for Medicaid.

You do the work. You deserve the pay.

Depending on getting it as an inheritance will not work -- even if your parents don't use up all their money on their care before they die.
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I'm not a lawyer, but it sounds as if you want to be paid for your caregiving and the best way to do that would be NOW, not after the fact.
What is preventing your parents from paying you the same as their other caregiver? If you're doing the same work, you should be paid the same amount. Or your parents could pay it out to you, and you could deposit it in a separate savings account, and maybe if they need it "later" you could give it back to them. Probably best to see a lawyer to make sure you find a legal way.
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